Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Tiger Tears

SHEESH..... last night was absolute heartbreak, for those of you who are reading this from an underground cave in afghanistan, last night was the final of the first inaugaral Steinhoff FNB Varsity Cup between UCT and Ikeys, both teams had serious nailbiters in their respective semifinals and last night was no exception...

The night got off to great start with the UCT colts dominating the Maties dagbreek team, with classy performances from the Cobras captain Warren 'el Capitano' Butler, the actual captain of the Colts Nic 'Rozilz' Roslee, Oliver 'Bantu bum' Braithwaite, Brendan 'Jay Cutler, Evan Stone' Raubenstone, and Ross 'Rozilz' Sheldon.... well done boys...

The UCT 1st team on the other hand was a very tense, exciting but tearful game... with the Maties bastards clincing a very hard fought game in the dying minute, literally... it must be noted that in true Bishops/ Cobras style rugby Ikeys scored 2 tries in comparison to maties 1.

I would like to bitch and whine like a true sore loser about several things that really pissed me off about the game.... first and foremostly the fact that UCT topped the Varsity Cup log and therefore were meant to awarded a home final, however owing to UCTs under par lighting we were forced to play Maties in their Dutch stronghold: "The Danie Craven" stadium. Anyone who was there will testify to the overwhelming Maties support. This is fucking bullshit. They better sort out a proper stadium for next year when we top the log.
Secondly, the lack of booze available at the stadium.
Thirdly, the fact that some fat traitorous Ikeys sluts bad mouthed UCT guys in the paper.
Fourthly, the fact that ref decided to play an extra 10 minutes, or until Maties scored, which as was said earlier they did, in the last minute!
And lastly, but most significcantly the fact that some scum dutch gam security assaulted a fellow cobra in full view of the stadium. Anton Taylor was jovially encouraging the Ikeys crowd to chant some tame songs of encouragement to the boys in blue, when a a gang of rommel security gaurds came out of nowhere and tackled the unsuspecting Taylor to the ground, and then to his cries of "im sorry, im sorry, what are you doing?", they proceded to repeatedly smash his fragile head in with their bare fists, until the defencless Anton's temple and scull cracked open into a MASSIVE wound with fountains of blood gushing all over the field... Taylor was forced to spend the night in hospital being attended to by medical experts. And as the Van Wilder of UCT himslef will attest to, this was not ideal. And today he had to have a cosultaion with Troy and Macnamara to determine whether they could ever repair severe damage done to his features. To top things off this security gaurd then proceded to pull pg 18 signs at the Ikeys crowd. Only in Stellenbosch... fuck. fuck.


Anton "The bearded beast" Taylor

Anyways now that ive dealt with that little rant, lets look forward to the future, to better things to come... to great things to come... as you all are definitely aware tomorrow night is our first cobras game of the season, and i dont know about you, but im giddy... giddy as hell... i hope your are prepare; mentally, physically and spiritually... the opener is going to be huge. Please bring along all the support possible, tell all the sluts you know, they love this kind of thing... and bring some gees.

Speaking of gees and things sluts enjoy; the Purple cobras bowls day. As a two year veteran of the game, i can garauntee you that it is an awesome load of fun... there is nothing better than getting out on the green with a cold one in one hand and a bowl in the other while displaying some true Cobras magic. Bowls is also highly conducive to pulling chicks, as Dugald will definitely not be shy to tell you (he DIGS tellign okes about pulling chicks), it is alleged that the Newlands Cricket Club bowling green is where his reign of Purple Rain all began... oh yes... you to could follow in his footsteps... this is definitely not one to be missed and is fun for the whole family, so tell everyone you know: get a team, get some sort of awesome kit/outfit/costume vibe worked out, and lets get the ball rolling so too speak...

welll i ahve about 7 tuts for early tomorrow so i must leave you beautiful ppl now, so until tomorrow night....


Slap slap HISSSSS



a cobra about to step a claredon knight... electric


(graeme i was too lazy to speel check and edit this, so please deal with it for me. i love you)

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