Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Wow that's a clever way to begin. A slight change from your everyday 'Howzit' or 'Hi'. It's the kind of change up you need in your everday routine. Something that just sort of like makes you a little more intrigued in what that person has to say. Alternatively you could ignore one completely, based on the assumption that any person who uses the word 'Aloha' as a greeting is not worth talking to. Good start.
So last time I was ranting on about books, spies and Ian Armstrong. Much of the same today I'm afraid. It's just that I'm still tied up in exams and I just need to vent some of my frustration and anxt. Good word. Currently I sit at my father's desk consuming slide after slide of Supply Chain Management. Very, very interesting stuff. So interesting, in fact, that after 49 slides I can only tell you that JIT stands for Just In Time. An inventory method created to increase efficiency and so forth. Created by the Japs. Highly efficient mob that. Where was I? At the desk of course. Last time I vowed to address the question of what Waz B gets up to during the day. The answer is; a helluva lot actually.
I was about to try to give you a run down of Warren's day, with times and stuff, but I got to 12:30 and it just became a bit much for me. I was trying to be funny and realistic and clever. Just wasn't working out for me.
Holidays also throw a massive spanner in the works for our players. Winning rugby is highly correlated with high fitness levels. As we all know so well, three months holiday is generally not spent doing pyramids or undertaking various other fitness regimes. Indeed holidays are a time to kick back and get drunk. With this in mind I've put together a list of candidates that are most likely to put on weight, lose speed and generally become more sloth like over the holidays.
A host of the Cobras, senior memebrs I might add, will be attending Plett Rage. For many this will be there third or fourth go. While it will most def be rather debaucherous there will be many games of touchies, irie sonke sonke and the odd table tennis game. This group will most likely be going to Clanwilliam as well. It's so hot there they'll sweat out the booz and go on jogs and shit.
Overall rating: 7/10 (Ten being no fitness lost).
(Waz/ Raubs/ Hawski/ Dil/ Starv/ Gimli/ Oli)
Another intrepid group (Macdonald, Kelly and Rogers) are venturing to Thailand for two months. Diseases, drugs, motorbike accidents and lady boys being the main attractions. These chaps may return in body bags.
Morris, Butler and a few others may be spending new years in Transkei. Their rating, due to respiratory problems, drops to 4/10.
Cockburn is no doubt spending a few weeks on the sunny slopes in Eurpoe. R100 beers will most likely ensure early starts and hard carving. However, old Cockburn is prone to the odd eintjie and will most likely over pack on the Piet Blou cartons.
Ian Armstrong. Malawi, Swaziland, Croatia, Zimbabwe, Serbia or Shelly Point. This ou has got serious miles under his belt. He will be spending the majority of the vac with his significant other. As such we can't bet on seeing too much of Swali. Quite a pity. Army's rating would stay at 10 but I'm positive that many, many, many hours will be spent in front of the PS2 with Paul in a vegetable like state.
Kyle, Kyle Rennie! will be celebrating his 21st birthday this vac in his home town. Oh, where does he live? KOKSTAD. Yes, chaps it's true. Many of you, I'm sure,had no idea that a KOKSTADIAN was living among us. Good town. He's told me to extend the invites to any of you who may be travelling in the area. More cigs, more booz, fewer women, this man reveives a rating of 5/10.
This post is getting on a bit and some Supply Chain Management is calling.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
She goes home, lays on her bed, spreads her legs and calls her husband.
Do you recognize any of them? She asks.
He says: “not sure of the 2 on the outside, but the one in the middle is definitely Luke Watson”
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I know, I know, I know... It's just that I'm so busy these days, what with trying to get the odd soccer game in between studying and watching TV. Apologies to the three of you who are remotely interested in what I have to say. I've been pottering around the house, having just finished my third exam in two days (Got another one tomorrow just so you know, and I thought to myself; Hell's teeth Bug you haven't been very productive on the site of late. So here I am. And this is what I have to say. I enjoy saying shit for no reason other than to say it, is that a reason? Wow that's lame.
I thought I'd give you a brief run down of what's been happening in my life and and the lives of those closest to me. My exam schedule has bee rather tough, but I'm taking it all in my stride. I often like to kick back on my chariot styled bed and read a book just to regain composure between ECO's text books. I'm currently reading a book called "Liberation Day" by some ex SAS type. It's sort of espionage styled banter. It's pretty serious stuff, those blokes love to abbreviate shit. For instance the word intelligence is abbreviated to int. I mean, come on mate, how lazy are you? It's actually a crock of shit cos it predicts the end of days due to terrorism and it's very sort American patriot type vibe. You know, stars and stripes effort. Anyway.
Big news in the world of the Cobras is that we've got the whole tour across the country thing coming up in February. As cool as this is, it poses more problems than it's worth for many of the Cobras. Take for instance Swali Philanderer aka Ian Armstrong. What the hell is he going to do when we have to leave on a Friday? Everyone knows that it's pizza nights at his Chick's house(Say in a tapped Belville accent). Does he order the pizza early? Does he miss the pizza? Does he get a later flight? Does he leave at all?
Jolly Oli may also have a huge problem in this regard. Does he spend the whole of thursday night debiting and crediting? Does he debit and credit on the plane? Does he only play one half so as to debit and credit on the bench? Does he just stay at home and debit and credit? And by association we may have a slight problem getting hold of DEAN S and GRAEME S due to the fact that they all keep score on hours worked. So if Oli's debiting and crediting....
As for an individual like the alcoholic.. Shit I think the biggest probelm for Blake is that he may leave and just not come back. I would wager at least a hundred bucks that Blake Gowar will miss at least one return flight from either PE or Bloem.
Dillon Mcevoy will have no problem with this free flight situation. Hell, the ou is a bonifide veteran in this regard. Screw domestic flights, this man flies to London, LA and New York for free. All it takes is a quiet remorseful phone call, fuck it sms, to a certain X and he's secure. He'll even secure business class while he's at it. Bloody impressive if you ask me.
Moving on in a random manner. Phil "The Drill Sergeant" Rogers also may not be making a couple of games in Feb and March. He'll be balls deep in thai lady boys, covered in tats and mentally unstable due to the opium addiction he may acquire. And by 'may' I mean will definitely, without out doubt.
So that's a little, quiet insight into the inner workings of some of our favourite Cobras. My next splurge will raise the very pertinient question of what Warren Butler actually does. Besides: THROWING A VIBE BRU!
Alright then, 'nuff said.
Saturday 28 February 2009:
Cobras vs. Maties - Stellenbosch
Saturday 7 March 2009:
Cobras vs. Kovsies - Port Elizabeth
Saturday 14 March 2009:
Cobras vs. NMNU - Bloemfontein
Saturday 23 March 2009:
Saturday 30 March 2009:
So those are the fixtures for next years Varsity Cup. The kick off times are still to be decided but if the games are scheduled for the Saturday morning, then we will fly up on the Friday and back on the Saturday afternoon, and if the games are scheduled for the Saturday afternoon, we will fly up on the Saturday morning and back to Cape Town on the Sunday.
All the information with regards to flights, hotels etc. will be giving to us soon, and it's all paid for by FNB and Steinhoff.
Obviously we don't want to be arriving at Cape Town International Aiport in civvies, so let's please put our heads together and look for sponsorship so that we can all look like one in jackets and t-shirts etc.
Exciting times ahead, there will be a couple of practices before we start our assualt on the Varisty Cup, so keep your ears to the ground.
Oh so brave!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wind: 28km/h E-SE
Hum: 60% - 84%
That's right, Saturday looks set to be an absolutely magnificent day, and what better way to spend it than kicking back on Clifton 4th with your Cobras Trucker cap scoping out the birds and maybe throwing a ball around, as Brad Gornall once said "It's a hot day, and Clifton is pumping."
If YOU don't have your Cobra trucker cap yet, there are only about 10 left so don't miss out, your last chance to get your hands on the HAT OF THE SUMMER....contact Warren or Dean if you amped for one, only R50.
Oh so brave SUMMER!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Blake, notably boozed, just couldn't hold back the excitement after recieving his awards
What an evening it was with an awesome cocktail party hosted by the man himself, which started the evening off in a sophisticated manner. There were the new Cobras Trucker Caps on display and a Champions Jersey which got signed by all who are apart of the Cobras. This signed jersey will be framed and placed in the Cobras Box (blakes) at Newlands Rugby Stadium along with a trucker cap and the Players Player trophey.
As the evening moved on, so did the CHAMPIONS and their gorgeous looking dates, might I add that there were only 3 brunette's present at the formal, not bad going lads. The bar started being abused and plates started to be broken as the formal kicked off in style with awards and a couple of speeches. By this stage the ladies couldn't take the way the Champions were celebrating and decided to join in, letting lose on all corners of the dance floor with many a Cobras coming right with their fine young ladies...notably to Nessi who spent most of the evening whispering sweet nothings into his dates ear, well played.
Other awards on the night went to:
Players Player: Blake Gowar
Back of the Year: Warren "Oupa" Kelly
Forward of the Year: Kyle Rennie
Newcomer of the Year: Matthew Kelly
Most Valuable Player: Warren Kelly
Most Improved Player: Matt Milne
Youngster of the year: Nessi
Boozer of the year: Alcoholic
The rest of the evening was a blur as the CHAMPIONS moved on to Tiger and Wadda respectively, as both clubs put together guestlists for the Cobras, in big demand on the night. We celebrated in style with what was our first Internal League Cup!
Oh so brave...
New signing Mat Turner shone on his full Bristol debut at Northampton Saints on Saturday afternoon with Bristol producing some sparkling rugby until a series of yellow cards destroyed their momentum and handed the home team a crucial initiative on their way to victory.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Most of the photis where taken at our debauched change room fines meet following our initial Nadoes victory. Let me just take this oppurtunity to remind that we beat the Nadoes... Twice. We are the fucking champions. The fucking Purple Cobras. The mighty mighty Cobras. The Brave Cobras. The Champions. The Winners of UCT internal league rugby 2008.
So i have decided to release a few selected pics each monday on a weekly basis, under the catchy and descriptive title 'Monday Mentals'... so here is this week's fisrst instalment. Please enjoy.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Brendan Raubenheimer taking one on the head last year, expect more of this.
Cobras Formal Pre-drinks Cocktail Party:
Blake's house from 6pm SHARP
11 Midhurst Road Constantia (Blake 0823775233 for directions)
Blake has kindly offered to cater for this, and he is catering for all of us, so please make an effort to get to his house for a couple of pre-drinks to get your party started.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'9'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show.After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me and sitting down.
She said ' Hi ', and I said ' Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and down.
'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. .'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued.'In fact, I'll bet you've never felt this good before.
''Well, I have,' I correct ed her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked to play for the school 1st. XV in the Public School Finals in front of a crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.
'I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast.'How do you feel now,' she purred.' OK' I replied.Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!
'Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the match. The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it. I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, palmed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a Try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with which to win the match and........
'' Ahhh....' she growelled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed, pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her skirt. My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and she was wet !!!!She snapped,
'Well tell me this, Smart Ass : Have you ever felt such a c_nt?''I certainly have'
I answered, 'I missed the kick.'
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Purple Cobras 38 - Clarendon 5
Purple Cobras 43 - Smuts 0
Purple Cobras 19 - Easterns 7
Purple Cobras 26 - Spanners 17
Purple Cobras 5 - Ubumbo 14
Purple Cobras 10 - Nadoes 7
Purple Cobras 27 - 10 Easterns
Purple Cobras 14 - 0 Spanners
Purple Cobras 7 - 0 Nadoes
2008 Season:Played 9 Won 8 Lost 1
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, firends and foes, Army and Cherie.... This I am sad to say is the last weather report for the season 2008. But never fear there is always next year. Firstly let me apologise for my lack of weather reports lately, although with so many gaps between games it's hard to be consistent. Secondly, and more importantly, I write this weather report before a game of epic proportions. Yes, it is indeed the final of the Internal League. Not the plate, bowl or spoon final, but the CUP final. Probably the highest sporting achievement available at UCT. Francois Pienaar was heard commenting that the UCT internal league boasts some of the richest talent in -South Africa. I don't know about the Internal League as a whole, but I definitely know that the Cobras fit this description.
As for the weather: The official weather report normally supplied by the Cape Argus has been completely ignored today. Today I go on gut intstinct. The same gut instinct that predicts the Cobras to win by Twenty in the Final. The same gut instinct that believes that man for man, Cobras are better than the Nadoes. The same gut instinct that knows the Cobras simply want it more.
So my forecast, for those of you who actually care, is one of blue skies but without the heat of a hot day when Clifton's pumping (Shot Gorns). The grass under foot will be moist like that of the ladies under garments when the Cobras hit the town later. And by moist I mean pretty fuckin swet. Lovely. It seems the wind will not be playing much of a factor today and the fact that we're not playing under lights should help on the dew side of things.
As for our interview today I have none other than Captian my Captain Warren 'What's the ou up to there tonight man?' Butler. In very unusual fashion I will in fact actually consult the man himself in this interview. So every thing you hear and feel is in fact real.
This brings me to my next point. This morning there was a giant fucking BABOON on my roof. Ripley's Believe it or Not stuff here. Like the twighlight zone. I don't know what to take from this rude awakening. Is it an omen? I'm not sure. All I do know is that I watched this thing walk, casually, to the bottom of the garden and hop over the fence. Like your common variety criminal. Where was he going? I don't know for sure but he looked like he was heading in the direction of the green mile. perhaps he'd heard of the showdown while chilling in Kirstenbosch listening in on some walkers' consverstaion. Perhaps an eagle told him. Perhaps he is just a baboon in search of refuge. Perhaps.
So now to the interview. As promised Warren Butler will be joining me this afternoon and I can promise you the banter will be of top quality, nothing like that new show Luv Sport which our friend Seth Rotheram on 2oceansvibe so vehemently supports.
So let's get to it:
BUG: My captain, HOWZIT?
WAZ: Ag no well hey. Few butterflies in the stomach, but other than that I'm rearing to go.
B: Excited for the game today?
W: Ya always excited to pull the purple and white over the shoulders, espescially on an occasion such as this.
B: Hell, me too.
B: Predictions for the day?
W: Ikhaya by six over the young Kopano side in the CAN final. Whatever that means.
B: Ah, the much anticipated CAN final. Alot of controversy surrounding that game but we''ll steer clear of such things today.
B: How are the preparations for the formal going?
W: Going along swimmingly and the hats have just been sent in for printing so by Saturday the boys can chill on Clifton while still representing the family.
B: Sweet. What colours are available?
W: We've tried to cater for everyone's needs but we'll just have to see.
W: You'll have to excuse me now I need to go chunder...
B: Sweet. Save some for later.
B: Because the Cobras team has just arrived.... A ha ha ha ha. A ha ha ha ha.
B: Any final words?
W: Let's fuckin bring it home... I've been waiting three years for this.
There you have it. The Captain has spoken. Bring it home Cobras.
Always take the weather with you!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
NB: Formal tickets are going fast too so bring cash on Wed to secure your seat at Cape Town's biggest social event.
Monday, September 15, 2008
On wednesday night following our game and fines meet, there is a guest list organised at The Bang Bang Club, this is only open to Cobras RFC players. It will no doubt be a jol, and a perfect way to cap off Wednesday night's events. The more Cobras the better the vibe, as we are the vibe.
A big Cobras thanks to Chris Jack for hooking us up.
Guys to bring a case of beer:
1. Dugald McDonald
2. Mike Cockburn
4. Richard Morris
5. Warren Kelly
6. Dillon McEvoy
7. Graeme Steen
8. Blake Gowar
Oh so brave
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
After a year of disappointments and setbacks, Federer protected his aura of invincibility at Flushing Meadows in devastating style, handing Andy Murray a 6-2 7-5 6-2 masterclass.