Monday, August 31, 2009

Everywhere you go...

Sawatdee Khrab!

Ya basically that's Thai for hello. No I did not type it into a free translation program found on Google. I'm a very well travelled and cultured young man if you must know. But aren't we all at the Cobras. Aren't we all just so fantastic? The answer: You bet your fucking life we are!

So it's Monday. Blue Monday. Not quite. There's that classic line from Office Space- does someone have a case on the Mondays? It really irritates the main character (Peter), I told you before I'm cultured, and it certainly irritates me. It grates me. It grates my tits. Oh, just punch me in the.... tits! Two myprodols and a couple of Heinekens are making this incredibly interesting. Back to Monday, the day before Tuesday and the day following Sunday. I'm sure you all knew that. Except for maybe Fetish. Don't think fetish knew that. So it's Monday and it's dark and wintery and windy outside my window. Very bleak. Not me, I'm happy (I told you I just popped two myprodols and some Heineken). It's just that the weather is bleak. Na mean? Alright. So Wednesday and the quarter finals are only days away (Fetish Wednesday follows Tuesday). The Cobras are reaching the business end of the season and it looks set to be a cracker jack finish. I, unfortunately, will not be present this Wednesday. Business you see. No no no, not in Joburg. In Zimbabwe believe it or not. Meeting some important clients. Taking off a few days of Varsity to wine and dine this lot. Big spenders you see. 

So here is the weather report for Wednesday. 

There's a maximum of 30 degrees.
Minimum- 13 degrees.

30% showers with strong South Westerly winds. 

I'm expecting harsh winds up on the green mile. Powerful gusts that will make the high ball an impossible task. Impossible for a human perhaps, but when you have the likes of Stefan Terblanche at number 15, there's nothing really to worry about. I mean the man's hands are as safe as houses. To think that he's not playing for the Bokke. How lucky we are at the Cobras to rub shoulders with such amazing players. Just think of the confidence he inspires. The sheer determination of the players around him just to share a brief moment at the break down. Maybe even cop a feel and pass it off as general buggerness. Got to love the buggerness. 

So here goes. This week's interview features none other than Stefan Terblanche himself, aka Dean Smorenburg, aka the Snake, aka Starvin Marvin.

Bug: Deano, what a pleasure having you with me today. (Incidentally Dean did not opt for the myprodol/heineken concoction I'm going for). How's things? How are those shin splints?

Deano: Ya Bug (incredibly deep voice, perhaps what God sounded like when he said- let there be light), I'm all good hey. I've been holding off on a couple of squash games and some trail running to give them a rest. I mean there's no point risking it when games such as Wednesday's are on the line. How's your shoulder?

B: Hey thanks Deano. It's not often the interviewees start asking about my well being. That oke Nessi was so rude you know. Always talking about himself. Always referring to himself in the third person. Bit arrogant if I may say so myself. Good riddance I say. But Deano. There's that great quote from last year, not the security quote you did for that ou who called you Deon, but rather the one when an opposition player likened you to a well bred race horse. On steroids. How do you plead?

D: Guilty.

B: I thought so. This man is on roids people!

D: No no Bug, I meant I somewhat like a race horse.

B: Ah I see. What feature of your anatomy would you say is most like that of a race horse? huh? Hey? Ya?

(Quickly, I just figured out how to add images to this thing. Two years and I work it out right now. In honour of this moment, I'd like to honour another moment.) Pause.

COME ON! We are doing that again! It is going to happen!

D: Should I leave?

B: No, sorry Dean I just got carried away there. In the moment you see. Living in the moment. What a feeling. Can you see me in there? Tongue out. Enjoying myself. Immensely. 

D: Sick vibe. 

B: Very very very very sick vibe.

D: My legs.

B: Your legs.

D: Yes, my legs.

B: Legs


B: Are?

D: My most similar feature to that of a race horse! Idiot. That's the question you asked me before you went mad and started ranting. 

B: I... I...

D: Save it. Leave it. Move on.

B: Ok. Sorry. Well we're done.

D: What do you mean we're DONE?! What a waste of time. 

B: Bleak. Like emotionally bleak, not in the sense that the weather is bleak.

D: Fuck off. 

B: Where to?

D: Somewhere far.

B: Like Zimbabwe?

D: Yes. 

B: Cool

So there you have it gents. Another enlightening and eventful conversation with another enlightening and eventful Cobras character. Best of luck for Wednesday my friends. May it be a boringly easy. Until next time...

Always take the weather with you!

Knock out stages...

UCT Internal League quaterfinal:
Wednesday 2nd of September
The Cobras vs. Kopano
Kick off 20:30
Meet 19:30 below Cecil
We have finally reached the knock out stages of the competition, we know what is required from here on in...
Oh so brave

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Taken in their stride…

Running down to the game late yesterday, from writing a test in Jameson Hall, I did manage to punish down a bit of babble however in order to leave early, no harm no foul, right? Only to grab the first glance of Wednesday night internal league fever and caught the sight of a successful Cobras backline move resulting in (yet another) a five pointer, skilful centre Dev dotting down. A great way to start the evening, right Clarendon? The half time whistle sounded soon after, with the Cobras holding on to a slender 17-13 lead. Despite the bitterly cold evening on Groote Schuur’s glorious green mile, Cobras now with the wind at their backs, the men began to pull away from their opponents, ever so slightly, eventually reaching an unassailable lead, taking the game 31-13. Clarendon had no answer in the second spell, much to the credit of JD Van Huffels (donning the #15 jumper last night) and Jason Scott to name a few. The forwards producing a stella performance once again, with Phil ‘the drill’ Rogers proving to be quite a pivot in the line outs these days! No flashy drop goals and 60 yard run ins this time around, just classic classy clinical rugby, characteristic of a champion side.

Hats off to you boys!

Final score 31-13 to the Cobras men.
Full house once again!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Important fixture...

The Cobras vs. Clarendon
Wednesday 25th of August
Kick off 17:30 UCTRFC B Field
Meet 16:30 below Cecil
Important game, a win will see us finish top of our pool going into the playoff's...
Oh so brare

The Beauty of Facebook

"click to enlarge"

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A rugby extravaganza…

Last night, Wednesday the 19th, saw the Cobras take to the field against the highly rated Panthers who had been hitting some good form of late. Due to a bye last week and a for fitted fixture prior to that, the Cobras had not had a run on the green mile in three weeks since there last fixture against College House. With this in mind, coupled with the prospect of coming up against an equally matched Panthers side eager for a win against the defending champions, the Cobras took to the paddock with a rather cautious approach. This approach was short lived however! Immediately from the kick off, with the Cobras receiving the ball deep behind their 22 yard line, the Cobras spread the ball wide putting explosive centre Cian Van Der Vyver through a half gap, setting the foundations for the Cobras first try, which followed soon after. More was to come from the Cobras backs who produced, as many a Cobra said last night, the performance of the year, the words ‘stella performance’ and ‘u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e’ were thrown around at will. Two early tries were run in by Cobras utility back and Bishops enthusiast Mike Vermeulen, with two more from the Cobras men following suit, all before the half time break. Half time score 26-0. Bonus point before half time? You bet!

With the boys running the ball from all areas, from the front row to the back three, everyone was having a run! With what was most definitely the Cobras’ most cohesive performance in months! Playing as a unit was the order of the day!started off just as the first had finished, with the boys not missing a beat. Passes going to hand at will, and phase after phase the Cobras controlled possession with the Panthers not having an answer what so ever! They simply had nothing to offer!

The ball was run from all corners, seeing some dazzling 90 yard run ins, non-more impressive then from man of the match Cian Van Der Vyver, who quite frankly looked like he was playing in a age group far beneath him! It was an evening of festival rugby, with all involved having a laugh and partaking in the action in every which way! Capping off what came across, as an effortless outing for the Cobras men was the drop goal conversion taken by dynamic winger Mano Ghioules, some 20 yards in from touch, taken simply in his stride.

It is never fair to pin point a few individuals after a team performance such as last night, with everyone pulling their weight and having, well, blinders! However, a few mentions must go out to Trent ‘the marine’ Paton, Mike ‘night fever’ Vermeulen, Cian ‘no name’ Van Der Vyver for producing some spectacular passages of play. And as I am a forward and think that the men in the engine room never receive enough praise for providing the ‘go forward’ ball, a mention must be made of the whole forward pack!

To some up one can only bask in the absolutely outstanding performance that was last night! Re- fuelling that Cobras gees and making all proud to be involved!

Well done lads, well done!!

Now on to the cup…

Final score 62 zip…

Cobras down Panthers...

The Cobras were in a rampant mood last night as they put 62 unanswered points against the Panthers in a display of running rugby that many haven't seen on the Green Mile in a very long time.

Cobras 62 - 0 Panthers

Match report to follow...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Everywhere you go...


So it's Wednesday afternoon. Quite late to be providing a weather report. Just haven't felt myself lately. Maybe that's down to the fact that we haven't played in almost three weeks, maybe it's down to the fact that only a few hours ago I saw Swali Philanderer walking hand in hand with a Mauritian girl from Parrow. I am not fucking with you. After an absolute humdinger out in woodstock, of all places, swarls barkely decides that he hasn't got quite enough out of the evening. Off he heads to the ever reliable, ever accepting Tiger Tiger. Of course he came prepared with slick black shoes and, swept back hair and a lovely lumber jack like shirt. Pretty cool if you ask me. So there's army in Tiger and he comes across a past love of his (the mauritian girl from Parrow). She is mauritian in descent but her accent is like the dark love child of a fisherman from mauritius (french) and a secretary in a car shop in parrow. Unattractive is the best way to describe it. So in he strolls with this 'lady of the night'. Firstly, hawski and myself asked (best poker faces on); Are you a prostitute? She answered yes, much to army's dismay. But I do believe she was having us on, which I was quite impressed by. Almost turned on at this stage. There's a potential four way here I'm thinking. The thought quickly leaves my mind as I picture swali giving her a foot massage. After a brief lapse in conversation (brought on by the convulsing noises coming from DILLON MCEVOY! passed out in his own chunder on the kitchen floor) the young 'lady' tells us about how she and old armo met. Basically they met when he was 19, a little wet behind the ears. She was 23. Yes, if she was 23 then, she must be ...... now. So she tells us how he comes up to her and just gives it a full go. She resists his attempts to be carnal and makes to walk away. Armo, undeterred, asks for her number. She obliges. Over the next couple of years their relationship evolved via cheeky one liners from the man himself. Eventually it culminated in their coming together one night last year. How wonderful. How very wonderful. But the thing we all need to take out of this is Army's foresight. The man, realising that he was perhaps a little too young for this girl though forward a couple of years. He realised that maybe in two years time the sparks could light the bonfire so to speak. So, while playing the field in more appropriate age groups he constantly kept in touch, kept the ball rolling, kept stoking the fire, kept winding the clock. Let's face it. That's real skill. The man has got skills. True skills. I'm impressed. I mean what's one sms every few months. "Hey babe, it's your toy boy here. Just checking up on you sweet thing." Just a bit of love, everyone needs a bit of love, especially this young lady. He played that perfectly. We all know how good Army is at spotting a gap or taking an angle.


Here follows today's weather report. This will be far more accurate than previous as today I have the advantage of being able to check the weather in real time. Perhaps we could use this opportunity to assess the reliability of the South African weather service. Maybe it's time to change our weather provider. Every cloud hey guys.... 

So here it is:
Temp. Hi-LoWind Speed (km/ph) Humidity Comfort LevelUV Index24hr. Precip. TotalProb of rain

numerous showers. Decreasing Cloudiness. cool.  13 | 10°C 37-SW  72%  10°C  minimal  8.4mm  77% 

Numerous showers? I mean really. It's been rather infrequent if you ask me. I have only been awake for about two hours today anyway. Ya it's been pretty chilly but 13? Come on. surely not. 

Comfort level- 10? No ways could you be comfortable at that temperature. Unless of course you were having a cheeky spoon. Who enjoys a cheeky spoon? You all do. i knew it. Put your hands down now. It's ok. 

So I'm on my way out. (Aren't we all said Jack Nicholson to the 'IRA bastard' from The Departed). Before I go though I'd like to share some of my more favoured quotes from Kyle Rennie in an interview regarding the build up of today's big game.

B: Hey Mr Rennie, so how things? Can I steal a smoke from you? Please.

K: Hey bug! Sure no problem you can have one. It would be my pleasure. I'm good as well. Just cruising along at a pace that is very misleading. You don't realise what power and acceleration I have on the back burner.

B: I know Kyle, and thanks for the cigi. Much appreciated. Tell me, Kyle, you started your professional career quite a bit before the rest of us. Is that something you enjoy or feel has been a better move career wise? I've got to tell you, I'm not exactly motivated to go to varsity in the morning.

K: Well, actually Bug I balance botha professional working life as well as a studying one. I basically do it all. This way I get the holidays and the money to travel during said holidays.

B: Genius. Never thought of that.

K: You'd be surprised at how many people don't. 

B: Really?

K: Really.

B: Sweet. So, Mr Rennie. What are your predictions for tonight's game? 

K: Well I expect a fierce battle in the forwards. I don't expect these guys to have too much fire power but we can't afford to be too cocky about this whole thing. They've got some good players and we should expect a very tough game.

B: Your prediction then?

K: 24- 12 to the COBRAS. Obviously. 

B: Mr Rennie, thank you for your time and best of luck for tonight's game.

K: Cheers bug.

So there you have it. Kyle Rennie in person, live, on the weather show. How fantastic. What a way to build up to a Cobras game. Lovely chatting, must fly, until next time (as always)...

Always take the weather with you!

Long wait over...

Cobras vs. Panthers
Wednesday 19th of August (tonight)
Kick off 18:30 on UCTRFC B-Field
Meet at 17:30 sharp below Cecil.
It's going to be a big one so let's make sure we arrive.
Oh so brave

Sunday, August 16, 2009

An Ideal World

click image to enlarge..

Friday, August 14, 2009


Check out the Internal League website for results, logs and fixtures:
Click on the Steinhoff Internal League Link
Oh so brave

Monday, August 10, 2009


Thursday, August 06, 2009

Braithwaite stars as Ikeys take Vics...

This from

Like father like son, not sure if this is John or Olly?

UCT last night beat Vics in Stellebosch by 31:20. Vics as always were full of running, but UCT controlled the game well in a much improved performance and flyhalf Ollie Braithwaite's excellent kicking ended up being the deciding factor.

The Ikeys went ahead early, making their domincance and possesion count, with three well taken penalty kicks by Ollie Braithwaite, then it was US Eagles backrower JJ Gagiano that crashed over from a set move to extend the lead to 16:0.

A big well done to Olly for an awesome performance, and also to Justin Bijl who went over for a try.
Oh so brave

Cobras v College House, July 29.

With The Baa Baa's pulling soft on us yesterday, I saw a gap and decided to post last weeks match report. My humblest apologies for the last post, no excuses really, just pure laziness...

The first 'rest' day of this semesters internal league provided the perfect opportunity for the Cobras to play their last semesters postponed match against College House. The game was a 'dead heat' of sorts with the second round draw of pool matches already decided and ultimately leaving not a heck of a lot to play for. Or so we thought. With perhaps Crobras pride fuelling them, the lads came out with a rather spirited first half performance, seeing them take to the half time break, up, two tries to zip! With the wind now at their backs in the second half, the Cobras saw fit to throw the ball around, at times working and frustratingly at times not. With a fully fledged reserve bench, in the region of 12-15 strong, the end of the match drew to a close with an almost entirely new Cobras outfit on the park, or paddock for all you Bob Skintad enthusiasts out there. Characteristically only the front row remaining almost intact. Yet again the Cobras line remained unbreached and although it wasn't all that pretty at times, the four tries were scored, grabbing that somewhat illusive bonus point and keeping their unbeaten streak in the '09 internal league intact!

Final score 24-0 to the Cobras men!

Garage Door Opener

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Who dat?

When looking around old facebook this random guy popped up on my news feed, who I immediately recognised as one of our Stellenbosch Cobras supporters Thomas Bergh, the two pictures are very similiar in what they represent. As the bottom picture shows us, Tom doesn't shy away from a pose.

Random Oke

Thomas Bergh


For directions contact Blake on 0823775233 or Warren 0741182422.
Oh so brave

Game on...

Cobras vs. Barbarians
Tonight 18:30 Kick Off
Meet 17:30 below Cecil
The game is happening regardless of the weather unless further notice given, keep checking this site for updates.
Oh so brave

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Oh My Jungle Hat

imagine running into this at 3 in the morning?

Monday, August 03, 2009

Not your normal Cobras evening....

The Big One...

Cobras vs. Barbarians
Wednesday 18:30
More to come...

Saturday, August 01, 2009