Monday, May 26, 2008

The Bokke Squad 2008....

Heres the bokke squad for 2008, apparrently SARFU hate quotas, i mean fuck they only included every player of colour in the squad, does Hanyani Shimage stil play rugby??!! is he even still alive??!!... and there are rumours abounding that Peter de Villers was so amazed after watching a Cobras game that he even wanted to include 'G in the squad, but unfortunetly Agie's contract with the Cobras doesnt release him until the end of our season.

Backs: Heini Adams, Gcobani Bobo, Meyer Bosman, Tonderai Chavhanga, Jean de Villiers, Isma-eel Dollie, Fourie du Preez, Jaque Fourie, Peter Grant, Bryan Habana, Butch James, Enrico Januarie, Conrad Jantjes, Zane Kirchner, Louis Ludik, Percy Montgomery, Akona Ndungane, Jongi Nokwe, Wynand Olivier, Earl Rose.

Forwards: Andries Bekker, Bakkies Botha, Schalk Brits, Schalk Burger, Wian du Preez, Kabamba Floors, Hilton Lobberts, Victor Matfield, Gerhard Mostert, Brian Mujati, Chiliboy Ralepelle, Danie Rossouw, John Smit (captain), Juan Smith, Pierre Spies, G├╝rthro Steenkamp, CJ van der Linde, Heinke van der Merwe, Wikus van Heerden, Joe van Niekerk, Duanne Vermeulen, Luke Watson.



And Sharks players:
BJ Botha
Bismarck du Plessis
Adrian Jacobs
Ryan Kankowski
Tendai Mtawarira
Johann Muller
Waylon Murray
Odwa Ndungane
Ruan Pienaar
JP Pietersen
Francois Steyn

Examinations



That very very kak time of year is upon us once again; Exam time. Grafting and stressing for 2 weeks, its got to suck. At least there is plenty to look forward to; a solid 6 week break which includes the highly anticipated and highly awesome, annual Cobras and Nadoes tour up to Plett. Last year this went down like a cold brewksi in the changerooms after a Cobras victory, i.e. very well.

So from all of us here at the Cobras camp, heres wisihing you a little bit of Cobras Fortune for the upcoming eksamens

Oh so Brave.... (Becuase fortune favours the brave)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Learning curve...

The Cobras went down 14-5 to a spirited Ubumbo side...two break-away tries by Ubumbo in the first half was enough for them to clinch the game despite a huge effort by the Cobras. Match report to follow...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The time has come...

This is it lads...bring your A-game.

COBRAS VS. UBUMBO
KICK OFF: 19:30
UCT RFC C-FIELD
MEET NO LATER THAN 18:30 BELOW CECIL
Enough said...
Oh so brave...
UPDATE: THE GAME TONIGHT VS. UBUMBO IS STILL ON, THE RFC HAS SAID THE GAMES WILL GO ON AS USUAL REGARDLESS OF THE WEATHER...BRING YOUR GUM BOOTS AND YOU HEART.

Weatherman Bug

Every where you go...

It is with great anticipation and a huge bulge in my pants that I bring you the latest update of Bug's weather report. Brought to you by, you guessed it, st st st Steinhoff international and FNB. Weather that rocks my brothers from some other mothers.

How is everyone? Good? Good. Used that before I know, still a good line i must say. So it's a blustery Tuesday night, I've just had my fill of Ugly Betty and now the creative juices are flowing. Today's update is a special one. Not only am i certain that my weather forecast will be highly accurate (apologies for last week, complete stuff up) but i have got an incredibly stumulating article with Mr Graeme Steen. Yes indeed. However, I did notice last week that when I stuffed up the weather prediction I got given beers left, right and centre. Something inside me says that perhaps getting the weather report wrong 'ain't such a bad idea.

Tomorrow's game against the Ubumbo is set to be an absolute humdinger. What is making this affair even more intriguing is the fact that no one knows whether or not ian Armstrong will be back from some land locked African nation. From where? Exactly. I don't think anyone had a clue he was leaving. perhaps he went to the masai mara to get special training, or more appropriately , the Swahili people. get it, cos his nickname is Swali. So like it all makes sense. Good fun. The game should be epic.

Today i'm going to give you two predictions. The first obviously will be the weather and the second will be on the game itself. This is a new development for the "show", it will be a show, one day. Sigh.

Anyways. My prediction for the game is simple: Cobras by five. not going to give you the score. Just know that when you boys are five points ahead you can stop playing and relax, assured in the knowledge that I predicted it to end that way. (Don't do that- seriously)

As for the weather:

Min: 14°C
Max: 16°C

Weather:
Cloudy periods, rain at times (60%)
Wind: fresh north-westerly

Sunrise: 07:35
Sunset: 17:49

Moonrise: 18:34
Moonset: 08:55

Moonphase:
Full Moon

There you have it. 60% of rain translates into rain definitely. Bring wellingtons, of all kinds, as well as rain coats and all the necessary goodies. Wetsuits even. I know i'm bringing mine. It's tight and makes me feel ever so sexy. mmmm.

There's that moon rise and moon set business again. I made my feelings towards that shit pretty clear last week and this is def the last time I will be bringing it up. Full moon is always nice, gives you a sense of wolf like attributes, makes you want to howl and get angry. Yes, quite.

I like that last line regarding the wind: a FRESH north- westerly. how intriguing. Fresh you say? I'll take two please. Is it de- caf? Tell me what would a stale north- westerly be like. like I said, intriguing.

Now let's get down to business. I recently had the pleasure of catching up with a one Graeme Steen over a few brutal fruits. At the time he was wearing an ever so sexual leopard print suit, which did in fact have pockets, to my utter amazement. Well done Precilla.

B: So Graeme, howsit? Ironic that I chat to you before the big game against Ubumbo, you always said it was your favourite game.

G: I'm good buddy. Well it is a helluva coincidence that we are chatting at such atime but I think IRONIC is the wrong word. You see, the Oxford dictionary describes IRONY as:
"The expression of meaning through the use of language signifying the opposite, typically for humorous effect."

B: Oh, I see. How foolish of me. I see those pockets are a lot bigger than they look.

G: Indeed.

B: Not to bring up a touchy subject Gimli, but I heard that you were recently retrenched/ made redundant/ let go/ made obsolete/ fired? Care to elaborate?

G: Ya Bug, you know there are no hard feelings between me and Sheraton Linen, it was just time for us to part ways. I've learned valuable lessons that will help me further my career later on in life.

B: Nice to see you're taking it so well. So does that mean that your boyfreind Dean aka Stefan Terblanche aka Deon from voice alert is now the sole bread winner in the nest?

G: I'm afraid so Bug. It's funny, it was an development in technology that lead to my being fired but it was the same development in technology that has made Deon, sorry, Dean so successful in selling alarm systems.

B: Ironic

G: Now you're getting it my boy.

B: Thanks, reminds me of that story in matric, Rukwind, you know the one?

G: I do, helluva story. Vragmotors and shit. Sorry, en kak.

B: That's the one. Brought tears to my eyes. I digress. So you're looking forward to tomorrow then?

G: Can't wait brother, I'm chomping at the bit. That's a horse metaphor, learnt it from Dean.

B: Well all I can say is good luck and tear some heads off. bye for neow.

G: Thanks Bud

There you have it. What an interview. Intellectually stimulating and all that. Brilliant. That's all I have time for for today.

Until next time, always take the weather with you...

Cobras Bowls Day memories...

A hugely successful day with many laughs and lots of memories, in true Cobras spirit...

Monty, Bug and Hawski enjoying the vibe...
Olly with two lovely young laides...Paula and Kim
The extended Terblanche family and friends loving it!
Metro Graeme and Olly the Clown catching some afternoon rays after being knocked out.
"Danger" Dayne doing a turtle celebration, boozer!


The winning team of Julz, Shonny, and Keryn...can you believe that these 3 girls won Cobras Bowls day and a R600 bar tab at WADDA?

Blake being Blake...we definitely won't be telling you what was about to happen here, ask him if you desire...or let his Cobras song give you a hint, I PULL SIFF....

Oh so brave...

Oh when the Blues...

The Bishops 1st team of 2008 is going from strength to strength after coming off a huge victory against Boland Landbou two weeks ago they went into the game against SACS knowing that they will definitely pose more of a danger, as we all know every southern suberb school raises their game by about 80% when they come up against Bishops.

However, this didn't matter, as Bishops went on to beat SACS with relative ease winning the game 40-27. It was another display of awesome running rugby, you guys must really get down and watch these guys play as they do play traditional Bishops rugby that no other school is able to produce.

And the Blue's go marching on....

Test Match fever...

Tomorrow night sees The Cobras take on Ubumbo in an all important Round 2 clash. It is our first game of the season where we believe we will be tested physically and mentally, so it is important that we get into the right frame of mind for the fixture. There has been far too much frustration of late, let's turn this around and start to remember why we formed this side in the first place, to have a fuck load of fun. So let's start enjoying it and playing the type of rugby the Cobras have been renowned for.

We have developed a rather fierce rivalry with Ubumbo with every single one of our games against them being played at a frantic pace with huge tackles and hard physical forward play. Let us take note to the fact that we have never lost to Ubumbo, so let's go out there and keep the record straight tomorrow night.

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking" - William B. Sprague

Monday, May 19, 2008

BIG HITS

He play's on the leeeeeft...

Heeee play's on the leeeeft, he play's on the riiiiiight!
That boy Oupa, made them look shite!
Cobas star outside back and almost bald, Warren 'Oupa' Kelly, the oldest member of the Cobras family has signalled his intentions for this Wednesday Nights clash against Ubumbo. The Cobras will be looking for inspiration from this man, who was missed last week and is almost untouchable when he gets the ball. He is definitely a player to watch this Wednesday and his experience will be influential when out on the dim mile, let's jump and jive.

Oh so brave...

A blast from the past...

Here is the league website write up about the Cobras vs. Ubumbo semifinal from last year, this game has been dubbed by many people as the best Cobras performance to date...can we repeat this type of magic on Wednesday night?

As if the crowds had not been treated to enough already then came the semi final that would cap the evening brilliantly. Ubumbo and Cobras drew 12-12 in the Pool stages and were amped to set the record straight. Unfortunately the long wait for the kick off was taxing on the teams and more so on Ubumbo in their new tight fit Reflex Nutrition sponsored white strip, (just a question: if we eat 'tomorrows nutrition today', what will we eat tomorrow?) as Cobras scored two important tries in the first 15 minutes.Up 12-3 the Cobras were looking dangerous. The pinpoint accuracy of their kicking kept the heavy Ubumbo forwards stranded in their own 22m and the loss of inspirational captain and pressure relieving flyhalf Skud Mateza to concussion crippled Ubumbo.

The Cobras prodded through a deft attacking kick the bounce right back into the hands of flying burly prop Craig Smith as he reached the goalline but a feat of super human strength from the Ubumban right winger lifted the massive prop clear off his feet and drove him back into the field of play. The trystopping effort sparked an Ubumbo resurgence.Speedy fullback Khwezi finished a sick touchline effort to scored under the poles with a rocket man dive that would have impressed Joe Rokocoko to even it up 12-10 at halftime.

The second half was a repeat of the first with neither side yeilding an inch of territory or a minute of possession without a fight. The deadlock looked unbreakable with the Cobras holding on by 2 but not even remotely keen to play defensive rugby. They went wide with everything and their faultless skills allowed them to do it with purpose.

Eventually their width gave them a linebreak far out wide that got moved back in to an unknown supporting runner who threw the crispest contact offload as two defenders merged onto him to put a runner away under the poles. 19-10.Ubumbo didn't come to be beaten and came back to score an excellent try in the corner that couldn't be converted, but that was the ball game. 19-15.

Oh so brave...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Happy Two-One to Antonio



Hapy Birthday to our main man, the always controversial Anton Taylor. Taylor is key player for the cobras both on and off the field, and has significantly contributed to the change room vibe with some classic self-composed down down chants... who can forget such songs as:
"I wish that all the ladies,
where blood from a pie,
and i was a tampon,
i would lick that PUSSY dry,
but im not a tampon cos hey im a COBRA!"

The man is amzing. Taylor decided to finnaly openly embrace his jungle fever, and had a jungle erotica themed 21st jol, it was awesome. I think what summed up the evening for me, was when TheCaptain (W. Butler), seized the microphone and instructed all Purple Cobras to congregate on the dance floor, what ensued was a mess of "COBRAS TILL I DIE", beer and generally shit getting hectic, with the birthday boy at the centre of it all, we were even joined by many a non-cobra as the vibe was so awesome they couldnt resits getting involved, and they too swore their love and allegiance to the Cobra that night.



Alot of men came up to me after that telling me what an awesome vibe the cobras was, and that they would sell both their testicles to be a purple cobra. I told them this was just not possible, as to be a cobra it is a prerequisite that you have balls. both of them, big balls. And alot of chicks came up to me absolutely startled and dumbfounded at the 'new level of boychiness' we had acheived.
I commend you all. Fantastic effort.



Dont forget touch at 4.

Some odds and ends...

Here is a look at a list of last weeks results, there were some big games with some big suprises. The first one being the Barbarians going down to what seems to be a powerful Wild Boys side who have now beaten Baabaa's and Ubumbo in the space of two weeks. Another big result was Easterns victory over the Panthers, which also came as a bit of a suprise as we brushed Easterns aside with reletive ease a couple of weeks back. There are still many big match ups to look forward, especially our all important clash against Ubumbo this Wednesday, it is going to be huge as they will be looking to bounce back from two successive loses and there last chance at staying in the 2008 Cup Competition is for them to beat us on Wednesday, let's not let this happen...


So there you have it, pick your viewership times, its all getting too hectic...
Oh so brave...

Touch @ 4

In preperation for this weeks all important MUST WIN clash against Ubumbo, please make sure you get down to touch today 4pm @ Bishops. It is our biggest game of the year so far so let's make that extra effort to get down and throw the ball around for an hour or two.

Oh so brave...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Joe Vs Jonah

This is hectiqueo...

Cobras 27 - 17 Spanners

After the Spanners won the toss and chose to run with the wind in the first half, who ever chooses to run with the wind in the first half on the Green Mile? First mistake. We kicked off into the strong North Wester which was completely unexpected as Weathermans Bugs report said that there would be no wind and a barmy evening condusive to Cobras rugby, this was not the case to be. The wind was fucking pumping.

Kick off went high into the darkness above the dim Green Mile lights only to be won back immediately by a Cobras forward. A couple of phases later and star centre Olly "the clown" Braithwaite went through a big gap just to be nagged by a desperate spanner metres short of the line. Cobras retained the ball nicely, and went through the hand out wide only to be intercepted on the Spanners 5m line with a break away from their French winger who went over to score under the poles pretty much untouched. Don't bother bout getting back behind the poles, let's just meet on the half way. 10 nil down as a penalty sails over from about the half way line, he could have taken it another 10m back with that fucking wind at his back. The Cobras were now up against it after dominating the opening stages of the game. Cobras hit back hard, with as mentioned above, star centre Ollly "the clown" Braithwaite going over. 10-7...fuck off wind. Seriously.

Not minutes later and another lose pass go intercepted by the howling wind for the French dude to go over for his second try, one feels that it was his gay gestures and celebrations to the crowd after both of his tries that ended up him leaving the field injured, no it wasn't a blood bin, he was off...no foul play.

17-7 down read the scoreboard on the Green Mile with the Cobras crowd having gone a bit silent. Understandable. The Cobras were not playing bad rugby, they scored two lucky tries and with the winger now off the field they couldn't possibly get ANOTHER fucking intercept could they? No, they couldn't. The Cobras bounced back...

Playing with the wind in the second half the Cobras knew they had to score early on, and that they did, was that The Clown again, couldn't be. Hat trick hero, hectic! 17-14. Game on. Wind increasing to 98 km/h. As Internal League games tend to go through dull phases in the second half due to okes being attacked by the bear etc. However this was not the case, as it was only a matter of time before the ref, if you can fucking call him that, got fucked up by all 30 players on the field. I'm not going to get into it, but basically he gave two yellow cards to two Cobras for god knows what. It is not often you get both teams, yes 30 guys, all swearing and telling the ref how shit he is. Usually one complains about him being biased or one sided, but last night he was just absolutely fucking shocking...that man should never ever blow another whistle in his life. He blew the game about 10 minutes short as it was only a matter of time before someone climbed into him, shame...prick.

That aside, Cobras showed a lot of heart and spirit to come back against a highly motivated spanners side from 17-7 down to scoring 19 unanswered points in the second half to take the victory 26-17, bonus point included which was fucking vital!

Another awesome changeroom session that went on for a fairly long time, with each song getting better and louder while each beer went down the throats of the thirsty Cobras men. Congratulations to Olly "The Clown" Braithwaite for walking home with the much sought after Cobragator Man of the Match award, a few humble words from the man once again highlighted how important team play is and that it has nothing to do about the individual, but rather the collective. Although still not our best, we getting there and great comeback to win with the bonus point.

Nadoes beat Ubumbo which means that in order for them to progress to Cup playoff's they HAVE to beat us. We all know they going to come out firing so start thinking about it, it is going to be huge.

Keep your eyes on the site for the build up to next week's all important clash!

Till then...
Oh so brave...

Gutsy performance...

After two intercept tries in the first half against the Cobras, 17-7 down at half time the Cobras pulled back and showed their fighting spirit to win the game 26-17 with a bonus point. The ref was another story...match report to follow.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Weatherman Bug

Everywhere you go....

Welcome to the latest instalment of Bug's weather report with st st st Steinhoff International and FNB. Weather that rocks ek se.

Hell's teeth have I got a special line up for you today. Not only will I be providing you with the latest in weather updates, using such things as barometer readings and measuring the mercury levels etc, but there will be a great expose' as promised last week on one of the cobras. Very incredibly complicated and technical but i'll make sure you get a view of the bigger picture.

At present I'm sitting with my laptop in Vida in Seapoint on this lovely tuesday afternoon enjoying a lovely mochiatto. Fuck that my bru. I don't do Vida. As a one Brendan Raubenheimer so eloquently put it: Such things are only for metros and queers.

And I'm not a metro, cos hey I'm a cobra....

Sorry a little song by Anton Taylor popped into my head right there. Coincidence? I think not my friends.

Also coming up is an exclusive interview with none other than Swali Philanderer aka Ian Armstrong. Apologies to those of you who were actually looking forward to learning more about Graeme Steen, but there have been recent developments in the cobra camp that simply can't be put off to next week.

Forecast: Wednesday, 14 May 2008:

Min: 15°C
Max: 24°C
Weather:
Partly cloudy, rain overnight (30%)
Wind:
strong north-westerly
Sunrise:
07:30
Sunset:
17:54
Moonrise:
14:46
Moonset:
02:11

I was unaware of the fact that there was a moon rise and a moon set. Very technical like I said. Isn't the moon just there all the time? I thought you just saw him when the sun set.

Now here's where you get your moneys worth. A little interpretation and explanation of how this might affect you. A max of 24 may seem low but bear in mind that today had a max of 18. it could be a rather balmy evening on the mile, conducive for cobra rugby and even more conducive for pouring chilled ales down ones throat, repeatedly, until bile and vomit rises and ends up all over G's back. i know you like it G. It makes you feel sexual and dirty. Gets you in the mood doesn't it? Rub your nipples. Yes. Ithankyou. North- westerly winds are a positive sign because it means that the wind will most likely not be blowing at one hundred fucking knots per hour, however it's a strong possibility of rain. Which is great because rain is good for grass, and we all know how much we love our grass here at the cobras. Thangyaverymuch. Moon rise at 14;46 seems a bit bizarre to me and the best advice I can give you is to turn your lights on at around three. Hell I knew it gets dark early in winter but this is ri- goddamn- diculous.

Now a very special moment. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my great honour and privelege to give to you the exclusive interview with a one Ian Armstrong ESQ. A little background on the man himself. Ian Armstrong is a very difficult cat to describe. He's very small but pretty strong. he's got a split personality who's character is like a paedophile who's just been released from prison and wants to get some at the local kid's swimming pool. That's him in a nutshell. At the cobras we like Swali more and so will be chatting to him more than Ian. in order to have this converstaion I needed to get Army as fucked as possible. Saturday night on dean's bday proved the perfect opportunity.

B: First things first, does Cherie read this site?

Army: Um no, it's too risque'

B: lekker my jolla. Tell me Army I've heard you're planning your comeback this wednesday night? How's the knee?

Army/Swali: Ya man Bug. i think it's time, ha I beat you back to the field. How does that feel you cunt? ha fuck you mother fucker!

B: Ah I see Swali is now sitting with us.

S: Indeed. I'm here and I'm gonna fuck all your girlfriends.

B: Jesus.

B: Christ.

S: Who?

B: Don't worry. So how is your knee feeling? What pos do you think you'll play on the night?

S: Whatever position I feel like bitch. My knee's gonna stand the test cos I go to gym lank. I go like twice a day. I'm fucking hectic.

B: Ok sweeeet. How's Cherie Armo?

A: Ah she's ok. Big day tomorrow, going to Mr Price Home to pick out some throw pillows and the like.

B: Have this beer.

B: Have another one.

B: And another.

B: Beautiful. So Swali how do feel about throw pillows?

S: They're for pussies! Harhar.

B: Thought so. Swals you produced one helluva chant for the snake two weeks ago. Where was your head at at the time? What inspired the genius of: Stefan Terblanche, WOO!

S: You know what, these things just come to me sometimes. During sex mostly, that's my most creative time.

B: hey that's cool dude. Thanks for the chat and good luck for the game on wednesday!

S: Go fuck yourself...

There you have it. intense shit. Serious therapy needed. I think he just needs a nice little cuddle. Maybe a little chocolate and a rub behind the ears.

Next week is Ubumbo and a little interview with Mr Gayim Steen.

Until then, always take the weather with you....

Intentions....

While browsing through facebook last night I stumbled apon this status update which read:
Sheldon Laing is not a handyman but is looking forward to throwing some spanners around...
Updated 19 hours ago
This man has put in some awesome performances so far this season and has stamped his name all over the Cobras brand not only on the field, but also in the changeroom after the games. He has had solid performances week in and week out and has clearly stated his intentions for Wednesday nights game. It is gees like this leading up to our matches that makes this man formiddable in the tight phases every Wednesday Night.

Will this man be in contention for the much sought after Cobragator Man of the Match award tomorrow night? Or will Kyle Rennie be trying to hold onto it for a repeat of last weeks performance to be the first Cobras to ever win it two weeks in a row. So many questions, which will all be answere come tomorrow night!














Here our man Sheldon is seen working at the Sexpo...he probably has now idea how I got hold of these pictures, but all I can say is that they were from a lady source...this man even has secret admirers, hectic!
Oh so brave!

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Group of Death


Every sporting event brings along its own group of death. This happens when three top teams are forced to fight it out for only two places. Last year it was the Rugby World Cup that provided us with a group containing France, Ireland and Argentina, this year it is the Internal league with the group containing The Cobras, Nadoes and Ubumbo. We have thus found ourselves in the unique situation where the top two teams of our group would be the likely favourites for the finals. In order to bring some of the juniors up to speed with what awaits them in the next four weeks I’ve broken down the rivalries that have occurred over the last three years.

COBRAS VS UBUMBO

2007
SEMI-FINAL
Cobras (19) – Ubumbo (15)

2006
Cobras (12) – Ubumbo (12)
Cobras (14) – Ubumbo (0)

Over the last two years an intense rivalry has emerged between the Cobras and the always powerful Ubumbo side. The culmination of this occurred in last year’s semi-final in what many believe to be the Cobras greatest game to date. As can been seen above the Cobras have never lost to Ubumbo but every game has been a closely contested physical battle between the two giants of the internal league. The difference between the two teams has often been as little as a try saving tackle on the line or a last minute knock on and the form book will once again count for nothing when these two teams meet.

COBRAS VS NADOES

2007
FINAL
Cobras (0) – Nadoes (27)

2006
Cobras (0) – Nadoes (35)

For the last two years the Cobras have been the pretenders to the Nadoes crown. The Cobras have found themselves coming unstuck against the Nadoes twice besides both times being the form team of the league. Commentators have put this down to a mental block but whatever it may be the Cobras are going to have to learn to shake this before they lift the trophy. This year the Cobras have found themselves facing the Nadoes before the knockout stages. This may be to the Cobras advantage as last year Nadoe’s final experience was the key difference between the sides.

UBUMBO VS NADOES

2007
Ubumbo (18) – Nadoes (16)

2006
Ubumbo (0) – Nadoes (12)


The traditional rivals of the internal league for long before the Cobras came along. Ubumbo has long been the Nadoes Achilles heel. It remains to be seen whether Ubumbo can repeat their feat of last year in defeating the Nadoes because this year a defeat might mean a lot more.

The Spanners are a relatively unknown team but it goes without saying that a loss to them by any side would fittingly throw a "spanner in the works". To the Green Mile.

Oh so brave…

Round 2, here we go...

As we all should know we have not played to our full potential yet, and with 3 games down and a tough pool for Round 2 it is time for us to start playing the type of rugby that has earned us the status as one of the big internal league sides.

There are many areas of the Cobras play that have been of a concern of late:

- The new laws
We have to play our game to the new laws. Forwards need to secure the ball at the breakdown and not concede any turnovers, as this has been a problem of late when it comes to ruck time. If we cannot secure first phase ball we will have serious problems, as our backs need quick, clean ball.

- Runners
There are not enough guys running off each other but rather too much individual play. We need guys supporting the ball carrier at all times and more guys need to run off the flyhalf and centres to suck in defenders before swinging it wide.

- Final pass
We build up nice momentum and often play phases of brilliant running rugby with the last pass not often going to hand, either try wait a second longer before offloading or try stay on your feet and wait for support. Do not throw the ball away or into mid-air when no one is with you, try and set it up.

- Ruck time (defence)
Get your hands all over that fuckin ball, we are allowed hands in the rucks so do it and win the ball back, if you can't win it back then at least slow the ball down to allow our defensive lines to get back into place

- Phase play
We are playing one dimensional rugby with first phase being set up then backline ball, we have not sucked in enough defenders and when we do get the ball to the backs on the front foot they score virtually every time. More pick up and go's and play tighter rugby around the fringes of rucks and malls before sending the ball wide. PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE

- Earn the rights
As the wind is always a huge factor on the Green Mile, the backs need to earn their right to swing the ball wide early on. Backline at times are standing far too flat not giving the centres and wings space to run the ball, and when we do stand deep we all know how dangerous our backs can be.

- Communicate
There is little to no talking on the field. At scrum and ruck time we need to hear the forwards communicating and encouring one another instead of approaching these scrums and rucks in absolute silence, guys need to be vocal on the field and get rid of frustrations.

- Defence
Defence has been the only one positive so far, we need to try to commuicate a bit more on defence and forwards need to make sure not to over commit to rucks on defence but rather hang out around the fringes.

- Aggression
Not sure why but there has been a huge lack of aggression on the field. It seems as if we go into games thinking we going to win, and therefore dont show enough aggression on the field. It doesn't matter who we up against okes must fuckin get aggressive and show the other sides that we come out to play rugby not to fuck around and go through the motions.

- Vibe
Get amped to play every Wednesday night, we have an incredible vibe with a awesome bunch of guys so when you get on the field love every fuckin minute of it and give your heart to everything you do with regards to playing for the Cobras, defence, attack, communication, spirit...show your intentions.

There you have it, these are some talked about points at touch yesterday which we believe have been the reason as to why we are not playing to our full potential as a team. It is now the business end of the league, we HAVE to finish in the top 2 of this pool in order to stay in this competition. So we got 3 fuckin hard games ahead of us, and they are all must wins. Let's play every game from here on in as a knockout game.

COBRAS VS. SPANNERS
UCT RFC B-FIELD
KICK OFF: 18:30
MEET: No later than 17:45 below Cecil
Please would whole squad come down
"Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill

A reason to celebrate...

A big Happy 20th Birthday goes out to Cobras hooker John Hayden, this man is slowly becoming a veteran of the Cobras. Hope you have an awesome day, and we will definitely be celebrating your birthday in the changeroom come Wednesday night...even more of a reason to push it.

Also Happy Birthday to Dean Smorenberg aka The Snake aka Stefen Terblanche WOO! for yesterday. There some rather big celebrations that went down on Saturday night at WADDA to see him through to his 21st. Congratulations on finally getting there and lets hope we can see an awesome display from the back come Wednesday night...including the after match festivities.


Oh so brave!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

English influence...

Two of the younger Cobras, Mike Cockburn and Moeg, aka Garth Adams seen above pictured just weeks before they embarked overseas for a year. You can clearly see the difference between the above picture and below. We are fortunate enough that these two made it back from their year abroad and are now firmly part of the Cobras family...



Here the two, or one, however you see it, are seen together, as usual, ripping it up in England as they do. It was definitely their year in England that has influenced them to be the ones who week in and week out are closing the changeroom, and more recently the bar. These two will often be seen, together, by themselves, in the Rugby Club making sure they take full advantage of their Wednesday night. It's these type of guys that are hugely influential in keeping the vibe going...things can only get more hectic.

Will these two be in contention for the Boozer of the Year award at this years much anticipated Cobras Formal? We will have to wait and see...but it also depends on whether or not Blake Gowar lives to make the formal, because if he does....he will be hard to beat. Keep the good times rolling...

It also seems that Graeme and Starvin now have some competition to see which pair could be seen together more often than not...

Oh so brave...

Bishops 80 - 5 Boland Landbou

There was a lot of talk around many different social circles yesterday afternoon at the one and only Forresters Arms, over a rumoured thrashing by Bishops of one of South Africa's more recognized rugby schools, no i'm not talking about Rondebosch, in fact im talking about Boland Agriculture. These guys have always been a huge fixture on the Bishops calendar, but yesterday was an absolute joke. Before I go on, I would just like to tell you the score...80-5....yes Bishops fucked Boland Landbou up 80-5, have you ever...

The question on everyones mind was, "Wasn't it wet and muddy?" Firstly, it didn't matter under what conditions the game was played yesterday, because it is hard to find running rugby like the calabre of Bishops anywhere else in the country. Every year we hear rumours about the Bishops team not being too strong this year, or that they going to struggle, but it seems as if every year we keep producing some fuckin awesome Rugby. These bunch of youngsters don't have any big names to speak of, but they play one helluva vibe out there, it will be hard to match the skills and pace of Bishops this year if they continue to play rugby that saw them put 60 points on St.Andrews and 80 points onto Boland, I would love to know when last or if ever Boland recieved a hiding like that. Keep your eyes on the Bishops flyhalf, son of Tim Laine, this boy looks set to go places and he is still in Grade 11...


Next fixture vs. SACS away (Sat 17 May)...get down, wear that OD tie, bring a couple of beers and watch running rugby at its best.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Heartbreak


Last night at aproxx 19:57 GMT on the Green Mile the UCT Ikeys lost to Maties again in the final minute. However, this time it was Ikeys who scored in the dying minute, the score was 18-24 Maties, and Turner managed to sneak over in the corner, the score was now 23-24, and as Matt Roslee had left the field it was up to Turner to convert his superb try, however conditions on the mile as per usual were not ideal, and this was just not be.
Ikeys put up a valiant effort, but seemed to missing a certain something, prehaps a little touch of flare, and after letting through 2 soft, early tries it was always going to be difficult for the tigers to claw their way back into the game.
Devastating.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Let us try again...


After what could only be described as something pretty close to an absolute fucking nightmare in losing the Final of the Varsity Cup, UCT Ikeys have another opportunity, although this time not worth R250 000 or in front of 20 000 people, to beat Maties. Small comparison. Can you compare the two? Who knows...don't think so. However, there is still massive pride at stake, and obviously league points when these two powerhouse rugby sides take on each other once again. As we all know the UCT side is full of players who came up through the ranks, especially through the Cobras system which has got them to where they are today, you have learnt well men.
Now, we all originially thought the intervarsity, which has become an absolute shambles, was firstly going to be played at Newlands as a curtain raiser to the Stomers game, but this is not the case. We at Cobras headquaters recieved some inside information as to why the game has now been moved to Groot Schuur A, aka UCT A-Field, aka The Green Mile...call it what you want to call it, it has been dubbed by many, as a fortress. Now here is the catch as to why the change in venue could favour the hosts.
- Firstly, on arrival the Maties team will be pushed and squeezed into that tiny fuckin changeroom that we drank, sung and puked in last week. A slight contrast to the luxury and space of the Newlands home team changing room.
- Secondly, as the Maties run out of their changeroom to go and warm up, they will be hit by a wind blowing close to 100 Knots, with rain and whatever else comes with the Green Mile sweeping across, making it an absolute nightmare for any visiting rugby team, or just rugby in general, however, surely the Ikeys are used to these conditions as they do practice on the hallowed turf every evening, I think Sundays included, hectic...
- Finally, and this could be my only concern, is that a few Vodacom Cup players were released by Western Province because they got knocked out in the Semi's last week. So don't be suprised to see a few 'new' Maties players, as per usual they some how fuck with the system.
So there you have it, take it, leave it...but it looks set to be another awesome game or rugby, and hopefully this time in favour of the hosts, like it should have been last time. Get down, kick off at 6pm, bring some beers, Rich maybe a small tweak and let's enjoy some awesome rugby...afterparty at Wadda!
Prediction - UCT 22 - 16 Maties
a U a U a UCT!!!

#1 Lets Go Fucking Mental

Slap Slap Hisss... cute.

In show of their love and admiration for the mighty UCT Purple Cobras some cute little kids in England got together and made this video for us...its brings a tear to my eye to look at their little faces and see the joy that we have brought into their young lives.

This just in...



It is apparrent that the Cobras have become a GLOBAL phenomenom, when i keyed in 'cobras' on facebook to search for our group, i came a accross 'Globogym Purple Cobra's' a very shit group with only 11 members. However, instead of having the standard Purple Cobra logo, they had somehow managed to get hold of our UCT Purple Cobra emblem and used it as their page profile pic, what a lag... check it out
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4275998826

Paul Tito Comes Right


Paul Tito puts in another steller performance, off the field, and scores the equivalent of 3 converted tries.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

All Skouranges are locks!?!

While recently completing my masters thesis for a doctorate in genelogy and the study of DNA and gentics, i stumbled upon a truly astounding, unbeleivable and dare i say fantastic discovery... all SKOURANGE individuals are LOCKS... yes it's true every strawberry-blonde lad ever in the history of the great game of rugby has played either in the number 4 or 5 postion... now take a second to think about this, think about every flaming haired person you know, and think about what their preffered position on the field was/is.... now take a moment to let all this digest, wow.

In the Cobras squad alone we have 2 ginger speelers, and both of them are locks!! Philip 'the red' Voget a veteran of the lineout and one of the fouding members of the mighty Cobras has orange hair. Craig 'the dark red' McKenzeeee a juniour but intergral pillar both in the scrum and the change room is sports and 'off red' doo. Interesting.


Phillip Alexander Rudolph Lyndsay Christopher Joy Voget


Craig 'Sexual' McKenzie

This icredible revelation spurred me on to dig a little deeper into this orange coloured conspiracy... so i got out my trusty shovel and dug, but SHOCKINGLY i didnt need to dig very deep at all, not very deep at all! in fact, i didnt even need to dig, i simply sat on my couch on friday morning and switch on the tv... the super 14 was on, the Highlanders were playing the Hurricanes. Good game.
On the Hurrincanes side, we have an absolute force of nature, this man looks like Hades himself, i mean fuck it really appears as if his pale sculp is permanetly on fire, its like a fucking bonfire, the man is Paul Tito, and YES he is a lock. On the Highlanders side i present to you yet another lock, James Ryan, and beleive it or not he is not only skourange but covered in freckles. amazing. Proof...

Paul Tito AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!!!!


James 'Red Rover' Ryan

In order to really put my hypothesis to the test i wen through my entire friends list on facebook (dedication because i have so many friends and the list is very long) and guess what i found... 2 ginger friends and 2 Lock. Graham Knoop, Jo Bailes. True story.


Graham Knoop


Jo Bailes


i know, this is too hectic...



Oh, so brave

Monday, May 05, 2008

Man of the Match...

After a very long drunken discussion over what the new Purple Croc would be awarded for it was finally concluded that the most obvious decision would be the Man of the Match.
So the first ever Cobragator award for generally being a fukin hectic oke, being man of the match, and then throwing a huge vibe in the changeroom after the game, went to new recruit and star flank Kyle Rennie. This man has adapted to the Cobras style of play like no other man has, he has slotted straight into the vibe and one can surely see this man going on to become one of the Cobra greats. Kyle Rennie, down a beer, pat yourself on the bag, take your hat off, and hold the Cobragator high, Cobras till you die...

Stef-an Ter-blanche WOO! Stef-an Ter-blanche WOO!

Due to the Sharks poor recent run of form, star fullback and Cobra Stefan Terblanche enjoyed a couple of beers in the Cobras changeroom last Wednesday night, he has stated that his recent poor run of form for the Sharks will come to an end soon when he pulls the Purple and White over his shoulders in a weeks time, he went on to say that he was extremely excited about getting another much sought after cap for the Cobras "My form of late has dipped slightly, so I will be looking forward to the next few fixtures against the Spanners and Ubumbo to try and get my confidence back, because after all, rugby is a confidence game." There it is, let's wait and see what this man can produced in Round 2 of the competition...

Oh so brave Stefan, Oh so brave...

Sunday, May 04, 2008

A Bitter Sweet evening.

It is with a great sense of uncertainty that I write this post game report. I know it has taken a few days to process but this is because I take great pride in my work and not because I'm lazy. Wednesday saw the top of the table clash between Easterns and the mighty Cobras. While both teams were vying for the first place seed spot for the next round it is without doubt that most people, Cobra or not, believed it to be a rather trivial affair. It should have been. On a cold blustery eveing both teams took to the field, Cobras playing into the wind in the first half as we are inclined to do. Having camped in their half for a good ten minutes, an unnamed Easterns player broke the line and one too many tackles, to put his mate over in the corner. Cobras down by five. Then things took a turn for the better. Aggression levels rose, rucking improved and by half time it was Cobras up 12 to 5. Brendan Raubenheimer going over twice. Tactically positioned on the flank Raubi had a great performance.

In the second half, wind at our backs and a healthy lead the stage was set for a massacre. or so we thought. It was a dull affair. Easterns became more aggressive and it appeared that we just didn't really have our heads in the game. One try in the second half was all we could muster and that was down to an error on their behalf. No bonus point. From the sideline there were a few things I picked up. Firstly and for some bizarre reason, we are sucking at these new rules. Our breakdown play is horrendous. Teams, whether intentionally or not, are killing our ball far too easily and ensuring very slow ball out to our far superior backline. Perhaps we are just being too polite or have become a bit complacent. Complacency is worrying because truth be told we haven't achieved anything in this league. Just like Ricky Bobby said: If you ain't first you're last. True too Ricky, true too.
Secondly it seems that the arrogance of youth that was once abundant in this team seems to have faded. I'm not berating anyone here, as I respect all of you as human beings and rugby players. But right now there is only one man who I belive is playing to his highest potential and has been doing so for the last three games. G Van de Rede stand up, down a beer and take a bow. Confidence is probably the underlying reason for this slump. For heaven's sake, we showed more aggression gainst the Panthers in the change room than we did on the field. It's time for us to take a look at what we're doing and not just brush it under the carpet and put it down to a bad day. Honestly, our last three performances have been below par and if we even think that this is the season where we're going to lift that trophy then some drastic changes need to be made.

Sorry. Other than that we had an absolutely cracking fines session in the change room, which culminated in Raubs bottling a Panther and Kyle Renny taking home the Cobra- gator. Awesome. Also I was told by a friend that the Panthers were bleak with us because they were trying to have fines but couldn't because the noise from the neighbouring change room was just too much. Those that participated can give themselves a hearty pat on the back. Fuck I love the Cobras. See you at touch. Bye for neow...