Hola AMIGOS!
You see what I did there? I said 'hello friends' in Mexican, or more accurately - spanish. You see they speak spanish in Mexico, but they don't speak Mexican in Spain. Rather confusing if you ask me. Linguistics aside I 'd like to formally welcome myself back onto the Cobras website after a long break from the writing game. You see I have been focusing on much more serious matters that have deadlines and ramifications, but are no more important than any article I've written or will write on the Cobras website (which, by the way, is looking very up to date and modern. Personally I preferred the purple scales that covered the background but such is life- things change). And that's really what I wanted to address today in my little weather report come philosophical sojourn into the recesses of my mind. Change. What is change and who does it effect (affect)? (Still not sure on the use of those two words. I think I missed that one day in english class where they explained it. Funny that. Also the word 'several'- up until very recently I believed that two signify seven so when reading an ecos textbook and it said something like 'there are several factors that define EVERYTHING you need to know' and there were only five I'd start freaking out. Where are the other two? Fuck. I am going to fail. And on and on and on like that for years of my life and then one day a legendary Cobra's player, Phil the Drill, who must be like an urban legend to you younger folk, explained to me what several meant and it changed my life. I use the word several no less than thirty times in my current thesis.)
Wow that was a big brackets break. 'scuse me. So change. Where did change come from and what does it have to do with this Wednesday night and this very special group of Cobras players. I can hear Kyle Rennie reading this and saying;"I know he's going somewhere with this, but.. I'm.. just.. not.. sure.. where."Well Kyle it will al become clear in a moment. You see when I joined the Cobras, at its inception (thangyaverymuch) in 2006 on Jammie stairs with Tom Brukman, Nick FW and the rest of that motley crew it was the beginning of a new change in my rugby 'career' and certainly a new change in my life. The Cobras has changed my life. The Cobras will change your life. Don't fight it. Just let it take you for a long, and often frightening ride. Getting back on track though I feel that I've ridden the beast for a few years and now my heyday in the Cobras is slightly behind me. I can hear Warren Butler screaming; 'What the fuck are you talking about?! We young! We're living!"Firstly, calm the fuck down Warren and secondly I am not walking away I am saying it's time for a change. Change. It's all about change. It was a huge change when Warren Butler graciously handed over the arm band to our current general Callan Artus, it was a huge change when Graeme Steen siad he was hanging up his boots to pursue a life of accounting and collecting birds nests. While it may be sad at times, change is good. We. Need. Change. And I think this season has come to embody that.
I was lucky enough to play two games at the beginning of this season and enjoy, as per the usual, two incredible fines sessions. What I enjoyed most about those evenings out on the mile and in the warm, fuzzy changing rooms was that there were so many new faces in there that were clearly amped about staying there. It really made me reflect on some of those earliest fines sessions and how we started with the traditional 'here's to x, he's so blue...' and 'hoola, hoolala..' (great traditional songs) and slowly morphed into the fucking full on broadway production that the Cobra's change room is today. I mean jeez- a song for every player (or at least we aspire to) and ten cases of beer. That's pretty much unheard of anywhere else in the world, apart from perhaps our neighbours the Nadoes. But even they fell behind when we started to import foreign talent to grace us with songs like 'je piee... where are the rest'. How was that lunatic? You inspired him to become an animal in there. You brought out the best in that Belgian and so he brought out the best in us. What a joke that evening was! But where was I? Ahh yes... CHANGE! OBAMA! Sorry. So look at what you have now- enjoy it because when you blink your eyes you're already five years down the line looking back at trophies and victories, but most importantly friends and gooooood times (winning makes things good so don't get fucking happy clappy - as long as you're having fun- on me now.) But it is the cheesy shit that really makes it.
So... embrace the change. Force the change. Be the change. All that jazz. You know what I am getting at here. There are few things in the world that will give you as much joy in the world as the Cobras will- Evan Strauss might say being fawned over by groupies is pretty close but I think even he would agree that it just doesn't quite compare. Think how you can add to the Cobras and then do it. Maybe a cheeky e-mail of your exploits over the weekend, maybe a little song for one of your mates (doesn't have to come from Warren), maybe an extra case of beer one week to broaden those smiles and maybe, just maybe one more minute of the hardest rugby you've ever played when your legs are screaming and your chest is heaving.
So with that out of the way I now turn to the traditional Wednesday Night Weather Forecast. Unfortunately I am unable to use some of my tried and tested weather forecasting skills like sniffing the air for rain or the good old index- finger- in- the- mouth- and- in- the- air move to judge the wind being that I am many many miles away from home. I waaaaannnnna go home.... Shoh don't get me started. So before I get emotional let's get tot hat little weather report followed by an interview with a fine Cobras gentleman
There you have it. Looking rather chilly if I do say so myself gentlemen. No rain predicted so those more fleet footed of us could certainly get away with using the old moulded stud boots. Poen and Shane I'd suggest sticking to the old tried and tested long metal studs for the scrums. Maybe even look for some of those old ankle high lock boots that Jamie Manuel is so keen on!
And now for a little interview. Ladies and Gentlemen, Cobras young and old, please put your hands together for none other than Belville Bullet- Duuuuuuncaaan "Junks Junks Baby" JOOOOOOHNSON! (Cue loud applause and Junks walking in).
Bug: Junks! What a pleasure. How you?
Junks: Ag Bug I am good hey. How are you?
Bug: Junks I couldn't be better, thank you for asking. It's refreshing to have someone like you on my show- someone with manners, a bit of class.
J: Well Bug I mean come on! What did you expect hey?
B: To be honest Junks I wasn't expecting much. I mean I ma talking with the same Duncan Johnson who ran through a field with none other than Black Gowar chasing sheep only to find a dead lamb and tie it to the roof of your car?
J: Ya but Bug... come on! You would have done the same thing.
B: You're wrong there Junks. I would have drawn the line at the chasing sheep. Dead lambs are not my thing unless slow cooked and handed to me falling off the bone. But nonetheless you still have a strong reputation for being an upstanding Cobra. I believe you were responsible for stopping the theft of some Cobra's bags last year. A stunning display of speed, agility and keeping your wits abut you as I recall. Care to tell us a bit more about that?
j: Ya it all happened quite quickly, but from what I remember I just saw some dodgy okes snooping around and then slinking off and so I gave chase. I have an eye for these things you see.
B: Like you identify with criminals?
J: No no no... More like I can see when things aren't quite right. Doos Bug.
B: Soooo you can see the future?
J: Of course not Bug. If I could see the future I would have domed up!
B: Ahhhh the old elephant in the room. Junks I wasn't going to bring it up for fear of looking like a dick but now it's out there. So how are things with the little 'un?
J: Couldn't be better bru. Really enjoying this new vibe. It's something you can never quite predict or imagine before hand but now it's really cool. An unexpected experience that's turning out to be pretty sweet.
B: It sounds like you're in control. The same thing can't be said of your driving at 220km/h through the Hugenot tunnel though. haha! But seriously, congratulations are in order and I know all the boys are right behind you and stoked to have a little Cobra for the future. It's amazing though because I see these as more affirmation that Cobras players are equally as potent off the pitch as they are on it!
J: HAHA! Ya no doubt! In my case the little swimmers obviously have as much toe as I do so it was only a matter of time.
B: They probably also where lumo mercurial vapour boots with sharp studs to pierce any form of latex contraception. Thoughts for Wednesday night Junks?
J: Shoulder still isn't quite right so I'll be casually sipping a beer on the side line with the support crew waiting for the post- match action to begin!
B: Didn't answer my question there Junks.
J: Oh ya... Cobras are going to dominate as per usual. Butler is going to throw a few violent skip passes and the backrow will probably end up hurting someone. Can't say who'll score because most of them will. That good enough you doos?
B: Perfect. Thanks Junks
J: Cheers Bug
So there you have it. Straight from the mouth of one of the most potent Cobras of all time. Cobras by a significant margin. All the best for Wednesday night gentlement. Go fucking mental, and remeber...
Always take the weather with you!
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