So it's Wednesday afternoon. Quite late to be providing a weather report. Just haven't felt myself lately. Maybe that's down to the fact that we haven't played in almost three weeks, maybe it's down to the fact that only a few hours ago I saw Swali Philanderer walking hand in hand with a Mauritian girl from Parrow. I am not fucking with you. After an absolute humdinger out in woodstock, of all places, swarls barkely decides that he hasn't got quite enough out of the evening. Off he heads to the ever reliable, ever accepting Tiger Tiger. Of course he came prepared with slick black shoes and, swept back hair and a lovely lumber jack like shirt. Pretty cool if you ask me. So there's army in Tiger and he comes across a past love of his (the mauritian girl from Parrow). She is mauritian in descent but her accent is like the dark love child of a fisherman from mauritius (french) and a secretary in a car shop in parrow. Unattractive is the best way to describe it. So in he strolls with this 'lady of the night'. Firstly, hawski and myself asked (best poker faces on); Are you a prostitute? She answered yes, much to army's dismay. But I do believe she was having us on, which I was quite impressed by. Almost turned on at this stage. There's a potential four way here I'm thinking. The thought quickly leaves my mind as I picture swali giving her a foot massage. After a brief lapse in conversation (brought on by the convulsing noises coming from DILLON MCEVOY! passed out in his own chunder on the kitchen floor) the young 'lady' tells us about how she and old armo met. Basically they met when he was 19, a little wet behind the ears. She was 23. Yes, if she was 23 then, she must be ...... now. So she tells us how he comes up to her and just gives it a full go. She resists his attempts to be carnal and makes to walk away. Armo, undeterred, asks for her number. She obliges. Over the next couple of years their relationship evolved via cheeky one liners from the man himself. Eventually it culminated in their coming together one night last year. How wonderful. How very wonderful. But the thing we all need to take out of this is Army's foresight. The man, realising that he was perhaps a little too young for this girl though forward a couple of years. He realised that maybe in two years time the sparks could light the bonfire so to speak. So, while playing the field in more appropriate age groups he constantly kept in touch, kept the ball rolling, kept stoking the fire, kept winding the clock. Let's face it. That's real skill. The man has got skills. True skills. I'm impressed. I mean what's one sms every few months. "Hey babe, it's your toy boy here. Just checking up on you sweet thing." Just a bit of love, everyone needs a bit of love, especially this young lady. He played that perfectly. We all know how good Army is at spotting a gap or taking an angle.
Anyway.
Here follows today's weather report. This will be far more accurate than previous as today I have the advantage of being able to check the weather in real time. Perhaps we could use this opportunity to assess the reliability of the South African weather service. Maybe it's time to change our weather provider. Every cloud hey guys....
So here it is:
| day | updated | Temp. Hi-Lo | Wind Speed (km/ph) | Humidity | Comfort Level | UV Index | 24hr. Precip. Total | Prob of rain | |
| Wed |  | numerous showers. Decreasing Cloudiness. cool. | 13 | 10°C | 37-SW | 72% | 10°C | minimal | 8.4mm | 77% |
Numerous showers? I mean really. It's been rather infrequent if you ask me. I have only been awake for about two hours today anyway. Ya it's been pretty chilly but 13? Come on. surely not.
Comfort level- 10? No ways could you be comfortable at that temperature. Unless of course you were having a cheeky spoon. Who enjoys a cheeky spoon? You all do. i knew it. Put your hands down now. It's ok.
So I'm on my way out. (Aren't we all said Jack Nicholson to the 'IRA bastard' from The Departed). Before I go though I'd like to share some of my more favoured quotes from Kyle Rennie in an interview regarding the build up of today's big game.
B: Hey Mr Rennie, so how things? Can I steal a smoke from you? Please.
K: Hey bug! Sure no problem you can have one. It would be my pleasure. I'm good as well. Just cruising along at a pace that is very misleading. You don't realise what power and acceleration I have on the back burner.
B: I know Kyle, and thanks for the cigi. Much appreciated. Tell me, Kyle, you started your professional career quite a bit before the rest of us. Is that something you enjoy or feel has been a better move career wise? I've got to tell you, I'm not exactly motivated to go to varsity in the morning.
K: Well, actually Bug I balance botha professional working life as well as a studying one. I basically do it all. This way I get the holidays and the money to travel during said holidays.
B: Genius. Never thought of that.
K: You'd be surprised at how many people don't.
B: Really?
K: Really.
B: Sweet. So, Mr Rennie. What are your predictions for tonight's game?
K: Well I expect a fierce battle in the forwards. I don't expect these guys to have too much fire power but we can't afford to be too cocky about this whole thing. They've got some good players and we should expect a very tough game.
B: Your prediction then?
K: 24- 12 to the COBRAS. Obviously.
B: Mr Rennie, thank you for your time and best of luck for tonight's game.
K: Cheers bug.
So there you have it. Kyle Rennie in person, live, on the weather show. How fantastic. What a way to build up to a Cobras game. Lovely chatting, must fly, until next time (as always)...
Always take the weather with you!
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