The other day I was in the pub having a few quiet beers by myself.
The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'9'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show.After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me and sitting down.
She said ' Hi ', and I said ' Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and down.
'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. .'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued.'In fact, I'll bet you've never felt this good before.
''Well, I have,' I correct ed her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked to play for the school 1st. XV in the Public School Finals in front of a crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.
'I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast.'How do you feel now,' she purred.' OK' I replied.Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!
'Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the match. The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it. I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, palmed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a Try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with which to win the match and........
'' Ahhh....' she growelled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed, pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her skirt. My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and she was wet !!!!She snapped,
'Well tell me this, Smart Ass : Have you ever felt such a c_nt?''I certainly have'
I answered, 'I missed the kick.'
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
The CHAMPIONS formal!
Get your ticket now before it is too late for a seat at the 2008 Internal League Champions formal...it is going to be an evening of awards, speeches, breaking plates, dancing and most of all celebrating what has been our first ever league cup! It is going to be a cracker, don't miss out...only a couple of tickets left.
Oh so brave...
Friday, September 26, 2008
The road to the CUP!
2008 Season:
Purple Cobras 38 - Clarendon 5
Purple Cobras 43 - Smuts 0
Purple Cobras 19 - Easterns 7
Purple Cobras 26 - Spanners 17
Purple Cobras 5 - Ubumbo 14
Purple Cobras 10 - Nadoes 7
Quaterfinal:
Purple Cobras 27 - 10 Easterns
Semi Final:
Purple Cobras 14 - 0 Spanners
Final:
Purple Cobras 7 - 0 Nadoes
2008 Season:Played 9 Won 8 Lost 1
Purple Cobras 38 - Clarendon 5
Purple Cobras 43 - Smuts 0
Purple Cobras 19 - Easterns 7
Purple Cobras 26 - Spanners 17
Purple Cobras 5 - Ubumbo 14
Purple Cobras 10 - Nadoes 7
Quaterfinal:
Purple Cobras 27 - 10 Easterns
Semi Final:
Purple Cobras 14 - 0 Spanners
Final:
Purple Cobras 7 - 0 Nadoes
2008 Season:Played 9 Won 8 Lost 1
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Weatherman Bug
Every where you go....
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, firends and foes, Army and Cherie.... This I am sad to say is the last weather report for the season 2008. But never fear there is always next year. Firstly let me apologise for my lack of weather reports lately, although with so many gaps between games it's hard to be consistent. Secondly, and more importantly, I write this weather report before a game of epic proportions. Yes, it is indeed the final of the Internal League. Not the plate, bowl or spoon final, but the CUP final. Probably the highest sporting achievement available at UCT. Francois Pienaar was heard commenting that the UCT internal league boasts some of the richest talent in -South Africa. I don't know about the Internal League as a whole, but I definitely know that the Cobras fit this description.
As for the weather: The official weather report normally supplied by the Cape Argus has been completely ignored today. Today I go on gut intstinct. The same gut instinct that predicts the Cobras to win by Twenty in the Final. The same gut instinct that believes that man for man, Cobras are better than the Nadoes. The same gut instinct that knows the Cobras simply want it more.
So my forecast, for those of you who actually care, is one of blue skies but without the heat of a hot day when Clifton's pumping (Shot Gorns). The grass under foot will be moist like that of the ladies under garments when the Cobras hit the town later. And by moist I mean pretty fuckin swet. Lovely. It seems the wind will not be playing much of a factor today and the fact that we're not playing under lights should help on the dew side of things.
As for our interview today I have none other than Captian my Captain Warren 'What's the ou up to there tonight man?' Butler. In very unusual fashion I will in fact actually consult the man himself in this interview. So every thing you hear and feel is in fact real.
This brings me to my next point. This morning there was a giant fucking BABOON on my roof. Ripley's Believe it or Not stuff here. Like the twighlight zone. I don't know what to take from this rude awakening. Is it an omen? I'm not sure. All I do know is that I watched this thing walk, casually, to the bottom of the garden and hop over the fence. Like your common variety criminal. Where was he going? I don't know for sure but he looked like he was heading in the direction of the green mile. perhaps he'd heard of the showdown while chilling in Kirstenbosch listening in on some walkers' consverstaion. Perhaps an eagle told him. Perhaps he is just a baboon in search of refuge. Perhaps.
So now to the interview. As promised Warren Butler will be joining me this afternoon and I can promise you the banter will be of top quality, nothing like that new show Luv Sport which our friend Seth Rotheram on 2oceansvibe so vehemently supports.
So let's get to it:
BUG: My captain, HOWZIT?
WAZ: Ag no well hey. Few butterflies in the stomach, but other than that I'm rearing to go.
B: Excited for the game today?
W: Ya always excited to pull the purple and white over the shoulders, espescially on an occasion such as this.
B: Hell, me too.
B: Predictions for the day?
W: Ikhaya by six over the young Kopano side in the CAN final. Whatever that means.
B: Ah, the much anticipated CAN final. Alot of controversy surrounding that game but we''ll steer clear of such things today.
B: How are the preparations for the formal going?
W: Going along swimmingly and the hats have just been sent in for printing so by Saturday the boys can chill on Clifton while still representing the family.
B: Sweet. What colours are available?
W: We've tried to cater for everyone's needs but we'll just have to see.
W: You'll have to excuse me now I need to go chunder...
B: Sweet. Save some for later.
W: Why?
B: Because the Cobras team has just arrived.... A ha ha ha ha. A ha ha ha ha.
B: Any final words?
W: Let's fuckin bring it home... I've been waiting three years for this.
There you have it. The Captain has spoken. Bring it home Cobras.
Until then....
Always take the weather with you!
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, firends and foes, Army and Cherie.... This I am sad to say is the last weather report for the season 2008. But never fear there is always next year. Firstly let me apologise for my lack of weather reports lately, although with so many gaps between games it's hard to be consistent. Secondly, and more importantly, I write this weather report before a game of epic proportions. Yes, it is indeed the final of the Internal League. Not the plate, bowl or spoon final, but the CUP final. Probably the highest sporting achievement available at UCT. Francois Pienaar was heard commenting that the UCT internal league boasts some of the richest talent in -South Africa. I don't know about the Internal League as a whole, but I definitely know that the Cobras fit this description.
As for the weather: The official weather report normally supplied by the Cape Argus has been completely ignored today. Today I go on gut intstinct. The same gut instinct that predicts the Cobras to win by Twenty in the Final. The same gut instinct that believes that man for man, Cobras are better than the Nadoes. The same gut instinct that knows the Cobras simply want it more.
So my forecast, for those of you who actually care, is one of blue skies but without the heat of a hot day when Clifton's pumping (Shot Gorns). The grass under foot will be moist like that of the ladies under garments when the Cobras hit the town later. And by moist I mean pretty fuckin swet. Lovely. It seems the wind will not be playing much of a factor today and the fact that we're not playing under lights should help on the dew side of things.
As for our interview today I have none other than Captian my Captain Warren 'What's the ou up to there tonight man?' Butler. In very unusual fashion I will in fact actually consult the man himself in this interview. So every thing you hear and feel is in fact real.
This brings me to my next point. This morning there was a giant fucking BABOON on my roof. Ripley's Believe it or Not stuff here. Like the twighlight zone. I don't know what to take from this rude awakening. Is it an omen? I'm not sure. All I do know is that I watched this thing walk, casually, to the bottom of the garden and hop over the fence. Like your common variety criminal. Where was he going? I don't know for sure but he looked like he was heading in the direction of the green mile. perhaps he'd heard of the showdown while chilling in Kirstenbosch listening in on some walkers' consverstaion. Perhaps an eagle told him. Perhaps he is just a baboon in search of refuge. Perhaps.
So now to the interview. As promised Warren Butler will be joining me this afternoon and I can promise you the banter will be of top quality, nothing like that new show Luv Sport which our friend Seth Rotheram on 2oceansvibe so vehemently supports.
So let's get to it:
BUG: My captain, HOWZIT?
WAZ: Ag no well hey. Few butterflies in the stomach, but other than that I'm rearing to go.
B: Excited for the game today?
W: Ya always excited to pull the purple and white over the shoulders, espescially on an occasion such as this.
B: Hell, me too.
B: Predictions for the day?
W: Ikhaya by six over the young Kopano side in the CAN final. Whatever that means.
B: Ah, the much anticipated CAN final. Alot of controversy surrounding that game but we''ll steer clear of such things today.
B: How are the preparations for the formal going?
W: Going along swimmingly and the hats have just been sent in for printing so by Saturday the boys can chill on Clifton while still representing the family.
B: Sweet. What colours are available?
W: We've tried to cater for everyone's needs but we'll just have to see.
W: You'll have to excuse me now I need to go chunder...
B: Sweet. Save some for later.
W: Why?
B: Because the Cobras team has just arrived.... A ha ha ha ha. A ha ha ha ha.
B: Any final words?
W: Let's fuckin bring it home... I've been waiting three years for this.
There you have it. The Captain has spoken. Bring it home Cobras.
Until then....
Always take the weather with you!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
What we've been waiting for...
UCT INTERNAL LEAGUE CUP FINAL 2008
Wednesday 24th of September
Cobras vs. Nadoes
UCT RFC A-Field
MEET 15:00 SHARP below Cecil
Kick off: 16:30
Oh so fukin brave COBRAS!!!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
One step closer...
The Cobras eased past The Spanners in the Cup Semi Final last night up on the Green Mile to meet the Nadoes in a repeat of last years final. The Cobras ran away with a 14-0 victory which see's them take one step closer to cup glory...match report to follow.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tickets for this, Tickets for that...
There are only 12 tickets left for The Cobras rugby box at Newlands for Friday nights Currie Cup game between Western Province and Griquas starting at 19.10. Bring your R100 if you amped to the game tomorrow, which includes match ticket, free booze, free food and a Cobras vibe.
NB: Formal tickets are going fast too so bring cash on Wed to secure your seat at Cape Town's biggest social event.
NB: Formal tickets are going fast too so bring cash on Wed to secure your seat at Cape Town's biggest social event.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Cobras guestlist at BANG BANG
On wednesday night following our game and fines meet, there is a guest list organised at The Bang Bang Club, this is only open to Cobras RFC players. It will no doubt be a jol, and a perfect way to cap off Wednesday night's events. The more Cobras the better the vibe, as we are the vibe.
A big Cobras thanks to Chris Jack for hooking us up.
This is it...
UCT INTERNAL LEAGUE CUP SEMI FINAL:
Cobras vs. Spanners
UCT RFC B-Field
Kick Off: 18:30
Meet no later than 17:30 below Cecil
Guys to bring a case of beer:
1. Dugald McDonald
2. Mike Cockburn
3. Moeg
4. Richard Morris
5. Warren Kelly
6. Dillon McEvoy
7. Graeme Steen
8. Blake Gowar
Oh so brave
You will never be forgotten...
We send out our warmest condolences to Monte's family and friends who all have to deal with this tragic loss. Monte was seen as a role model to many people as his love for life was incredible. There was never a dull moment when he was around and it will take something special to replace the gap that he has left in so many people's lives, Rest In Peace our friend...you will never be forgotten. This season is for you.... Oh so brave...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Roger Federer wins US Open
The footwork was precise, the touch was sublime, the impeccable Swiss timing was back and Roger Federer glided away with a fifth successive US Open crown on Monday.After a year of disappointments and setbacks, Federer protected his aura of invincibility at Flushing Meadows in devastating style, handing Andy Murray a 6-2 7-5 6-2 masterclass.
While Murray's hopes of ending Britain's 72-year wait for a men's grand slam champion were dashed, Federer clutched major trophy number 13.
Full story here:
A huge Oh so brave goes out to Roger for bouncing back to form after struggling through out the year, a bit like the Cobras side of 2008 who will continue their assault on the Internal League Cup next Wednesday Live on Supersport 1, coverage starts at 19:00, kick off at 19:30
UCT and future Cobra star heads to England
The prodigiously talented young Western Province right wing, Mathew Turner, is set to join a growing number of younger players turning their back on South African rugby to seek greener pastures, which could see him wearing the Rose of England (in Sevens) as early as this year.Read the rest of the article here, not only is it a huge loss to Cobras Rugby but also to that of South African rugby.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)