Happy Two-One to Antonio

Hapy Birthday to our main man, the always controversial Anton Taylor. Taylor is key player for the cobras both on and off the field, and has significantly contributed to the change room vibe with some classic self-composed down down chants... who can forget such songs as:
"I wish that all the ladies,
where blood from a pie,
and i was a tampon,
i would lick that PUSSY dry,
but im not a tampon cos hey im a COBRA!"

The man is amzing. Taylor decided to finnaly openly embrace his jungle fever, and had a jungle erotica themed 21st jol, it was awesome. I think what summed up the evening for me, was when TheCaptain (W. Butler), seized the microphone and instructed all Purple Cobras to congregate on the dance floor, what ensued was a mess of "COBRAS TILL I DIE", beer and generally shit getting hectic, with the birthday boy at the centre of it all, we were even joined by many a non-cobra as the vibe was so awesome they couldnt resits getting involved, and they too swore their love and allegiance to the Cobra that night.



Alot of men came up to me after that telling me what an awesome vibe the cobras was, and that they would sell both their testicles to be a purple cobra. I told them this was just not possible, as to be a cobra it is a prerequisite that you have balls. both of them, big balls. And alot of chicks came up to me absolutely startled and dumbfounded at the 'new level of boychiness' we had acheived.
I commend you all. Fantastic effort.



Dont forget touch at 4.

Some odds and ends...

Here is a look at a list of last weeks results, there were some big games with some big suprises. The first one being the Barbarians going down to what seems to be a powerful Wild Boys side who have now beaten Baabaa's and Ubumbo in the space of two weeks. Another big result was Easterns victory over the Panthers, which also came as a bit of a suprise as we brushed Easterns aside with reletive ease a couple of weeks back. There are still many big match ups to look forward, especially our all important clash against Ubumbo this Wednesday, it is going to be huge as they will be looking to bounce back from two successive loses and there last chance at staying in the 2008 Cup Competition is for them to beat us on Wednesday, let's not let this happen...


So there you have it, pick your viewership times, its all getting too hectic...

Oh so brave...

Touch @ 4

In preperation for this weeks all important MUST WIN clash against Ubumbo, please make sure you get down to touch today 4pm @ Bishops. It is our biggest game of the year so far so let's make that extra effort to get down and throw the ball around for an hour or two.

Oh so brave...

Joe Vs Jonah

This is hectiqueo...

Cobras 27 - 17 Spanners

After the Spanners won the toss and chose to run with the wind in the first half, who ever chooses to run with the wind in the first half on the Green Mile? First mistake. We kicked off into the strong North Wester which was completely unexpected as Weathermans Bugs report said that there would be no wind and a barmy evening condusive to Cobras rugby, this was not the case to be. The wind was fucking pumping.

Kick off went high into the darkness above the dim Green Mile lights only to be won back immediately by a Cobras forward. A couple of phases later and star centre Olly "the clown" Braithwaite went through a big gap just to be nagged by a desperate spanner metres short of the line. Cobras retained the ball nicely, and went through the hand out wide only to be intercepted on the Spanners 5m line with a break away from their French winger who went over to score under the poles pretty much untouched. Don't bother bout getting back behind the poles, let's just meet on the half way. 10 nil down as a penalty sails over from about the half way line, he could have taken it another 10m back with that fucking wind at his back. The Cobras were now up against it after dominating the opening stages of the game. Cobras hit back hard, with as mentioned above, star centre Ollly "the clown" Braithwaite going over. 10-7...fuck off wind. Seriously.

Not minutes later and another lose pass go intercepted by the howling wind for the French dude to go over for his second try, one feels that it was his gay gestures and celebrations to the crowd after both of his tries that ended up him leaving the field injured, no it wasn't a blood bin, he was off...no foul play.

17-7 down read the scoreboard on the Green Mile with the Cobras crowd having gone a bit silent. Understandable. The Cobras were not playing bad rugby, they scored two lucky tries and with the winger now off the field they couldn't possibly get ANOTHER fucking intercept could they? No, they couldn't. The Cobras bounced back...

Playing with the wind in the second half the Cobras knew they had to score early on, and that they did, was that The Clown again, couldn't be. Hat trick hero, hectic! 17-14. Game on. Wind increasing to 98 km/h. As Internal League games tend to go through dull phases in the second half due to okes being attacked by the bear etc. However this was not the case, as it was only a matter of time before the ref, if you can fucking call him that, got fucked up by all 30 players on the field. I'm not going to get into it, but basically he gave two yellow cards to two Cobras for god knows what. It is not often you get both teams, yes 30 guys, all swearing and telling the ref how shit he is. Usually one complains about him being biased or one sided, but last night he was just absolutely fucking shocking...that man should never ever blow another whistle in his life. He blew the game about 10 minutes short as it was only a matter of time before someone climbed into him, shame...prick.

That aside, Cobras showed a lot of heart and spirit to come back against a highly motivated spanners side from 17-7 down to scoring 19 unanswered points in the second half to take the victory 26-17, bonus point included which was fucking vital!

Another awesome changeroom session that went on for a fairly long time, with each song getting better and louder while each beer went down the throats of the thirsty Cobras men. Congratulations to Olly "The Clown" Braithwaite for walking home with the much sought after Cobragator Man of the Match award, a few humble words from the man once again highlighted how important team play is and that it has nothing to do about the individual, but rather the collective. Although still not our best, we getting there and great comeback to win with the bonus point.

Nadoes beat Ubumbo which means that in order for them to progress to Cup playoff's they HAVE to beat us. We all know they going to come out firing so start thinking about it, it is going to be huge.

Keep your eyes on the site for the build up to next week's all important clash!

Till then...
Oh so brave...

Gutsy performance...

After two intercept tries in the first half against the Cobras, 17-7 down at half time the Cobras pulled back and showed their fighting spirit to win the game 26-17 with a bonus point. The ref was another story...match report to follow.

Weatherman Bug

Everywhere you go....

Welcome to the latest instalment of Bug's weather report with st st st Steinhoff International and FNB. Weather that rocks ek se.

Hell's teeth have I got a special line up for you today. Not only will I be providing you with the latest in weather updates, using such things as barometer readings and measuring the mercury levels etc, but there will be a great expose' as promised last week on one of the cobras. Very incredibly complicated and technical but i'll make sure you get a view of the bigger picture.

At present I'm sitting with my laptop in Vida in Seapoint on this lovely tuesday afternoon enjoying a lovely mochiatto. Fuck that my bru. I don't do Vida. As a one Brendan Raubenheimer so eloquently put it: Such things are only for metros and queers.

And I'm not a metro, cos hey I'm a cobra....

Sorry a little song by Anton Taylor popped into my head right there. Coincidence? I think not my friends.

Also coming up is an exclusive interview with none other than Swali Philanderer aka Ian Armstrong. Apologies to those of you who were actually looking forward to learning more about Graeme Steen, but there have been recent developments in the cobra camp that simply can't be put off to next week.

Forecast: Wednesday, 14 May 2008:

Min: 15°C
Max: 24°C
Weather:
Partly cloudy, rain overnight (30%)
Wind:
strong north-westerly
Sunrise:
07:30
Sunset:
17:54
Moonrise:
14:46
Moonset:
02:11

I was unaware of the fact that there was a moon rise and a moon set. Very technical like I said. Isn't the moon just there all the time? I thought you just saw him when the sun set.

Now here's where you get your moneys worth. A little interpretation and explanation of how this might affect you. A max of 24 may seem low but bear in mind that today had a max of 18. it could be a rather balmy evening on the mile, conducive for cobra rugby and even more conducive for pouring chilled ales down ones throat, repeatedly, until bile and vomit rises and ends up all over G's back. i know you like it G. It makes you feel sexual and dirty. Gets you in the mood doesn't it? Rub your nipples. Yes. Ithankyou. North- westerly winds are a positive sign because it means that the wind will most likely not be blowing at one hundred fucking knots per hour, however it's a strong possibility of rain. Which is great because rain is good for grass, and we all know how much we love our grass here at the cobras. Thangyaverymuch. Moon rise at 14;46 seems a bit bizarre to me and the best advice I can give you is to turn your lights on at around three. Hell I knew it gets dark early in winter but this is ri- goddamn- diculous.

Now a very special moment. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my great honour and privelege to give to you the exclusive interview with a one Ian Armstrong ESQ. A little background on the man himself. Ian Armstrong is a very difficult cat to describe. He's very small but pretty strong. he's got a split personality who's character is like a paedophile who's just been released from prison and wants to get some at the local kid's swimming pool. That's him in a nutshell. At the cobras we like Swali more and so will be chatting to him more than Ian. in order to have this converstaion I needed to get Army as fucked as possible. Saturday night on dean's bday proved the perfect opportunity.

B: First things first, does Cherie read this site?

Army: Um no, it's too risque'

B: lekker my jolla. Tell me Army I've heard you're planning your comeback this wednesday night? How's the knee?

Army/Swali: Ya man Bug. i think it's time, ha I beat you back to the field. How does that feel you cunt? ha fuck you mother fucker!

B: Ah I see Swali is now sitting with us.

S: Indeed. I'm here and I'm gonna fuck all your girlfriends.

B: Jesus.

B: Christ.

S: Who?

B: Don't worry. So how is your knee feeling? What pos do you think you'll play on the night?

S: Whatever position I feel like bitch. My knee's gonna stand the test cos I go to gym lank. I go like twice a day. I'm fucking hectic.

B: Ok sweeeet. How's Cherie Armo?

A: Ah she's ok. Big day tomorrow, going to Mr Price Home to pick out some throw pillows and the like.

B: Have this beer.

B: Have another one.

B: And another.

B: Beautiful. So Swali how do feel about throw pillows?

S: They're for pussies! Harhar.

B: Thought so. Swals you produced one helluva chant for the snake two weeks ago. Where was your head at at the time? What inspired the genius of: Stefan Terblanche, WOO!

S: You know what, these things just come to me sometimes. During sex mostly, that's my most creative time.

B: hey that's cool dude. Thanks for the chat and good luck for the game on wednesday!

S: Go fuck yourself...

There you have it. intense shit. Serious therapy needed. I think he just needs a nice little cuddle. Maybe a little chocolate and a rub behind the ears.

Next week is Ubumbo and a little interview with Mr Gayim Steen.

Until then, always take the weather with you....

Intentions....

While browsing through facebook last night I stumbled apon this status update which read:

Sheldon Laing is not a handyman but is looking forward to throwing some spanners around...

Updated 19 hours ago

This man has put in some awesome performances so far this season and has stamped his name all over the Cobras brand not only on the field, but also in the changeroom after the games. He has had solid performances week in and week out and has clearly stated his intentions for Wednesday nights game. It is gees like this leading up to our matches that makes this man formiddable in the tight phases every Wednesday Night.

Will this man be in contention for the much sought after Cobragator Man of the Match award tomorrow night? Or will Kyle Rennie be trying to hold onto it for a repeat of last weeks performance to be the first Cobras to ever win it two weeks in a row. So many questions, which will all be answere come tomorrow night!

Here our man Sheldon is seen working at the Sexpo...he probably has now idea how I got hold of these pictures, but all I can say is that they were from a lady source...this man even has secret admirers, hectic!

Oh so brave!

Round 2, here we go...

As we all should know we have not played to our full potential yet, and with 3 games down and a tough pool for Round 2 it is time for us to start playing the type of rugby that has earned us the status as one of the big internal league sides.

There are many areas of the Cobras play that have been of a concern of late:

- The new laws
We have to play our game to the new laws. Forwards need to secure the ball at the breakdown and not concede any turnovers, as this has been a problem of late when it comes to ruck time. If we cannot secure first phase ball we will have serious problems, as our backs need quick, clean ball.

- Runners
There are not enough guys running off each other but rather too much individual play. We need guys supporting the ball carrier at all times and more guys need to run off the flyhalf and centres to suck in defenders before swinging it wide.

- Final pass
We build up nice momentum and often play phases of brilliant running rugby with the last pass not often going to hand, either try wait a second longer before offloading or try stay on your feet and wait for support. Do not throw the ball away or into mid-air when no one is with you, try and set it up.

- Ruck time (defence)
Get your hands all over that fuckin ball, we are allowed hands in the rucks so do it and win the ball back, if you can't win it back then at least slow the ball down to allow our defensive lines to get back into place

- Phase play
We are playing one dimensional rugby with first phase being set up then backline ball, we have not sucked in enough defenders and when we do get the ball to the backs on the front foot they score virtually every time. More pick up and go's and play tighter rugby around the fringes of rucks and malls before sending the ball wide. PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE

- Earn the rights
As the wind is always a huge factor on the Green Mile, the backs need to earn their right to swing the ball wide early on. Backline at times are standing far too flat not giving the centres and wings space to run the ball, and when we do stand deep we all know how dangerous our backs can be.

- Communicate
There is little to no talking on the field. At scrum and ruck time we need to hear the forwards communicating and encouring one another instead of approaching these scrums and rucks in absolute silence, guys need to be vocal on the field and get rid of frustrations.

- Defence
Defence has been the only one positive so far, we need to try to commuicate a bit more on defence and forwards need to make sure not to over commit to rucks on defence but rather hang out around the fringes.

- Aggression
Not sure why but there has been a huge lack of aggression on the field. It seems as if we go into games thinking we going to win, and therefore dont show enough aggression on the field. It doesn't matter who we up against okes must fuckin get aggressive and show the other sides that we come out to play rugby not to fuck around and go through the motions.

- Vibe
Get amped to play every Wednesday night, we have an incredible vibe with a awesome bunch of guys so when you get on the field love every fuckin minute of it and give your heart to everything you do with regards to playing for the Cobras, defence, attack, communication, spirit...show your intentions.

There you have it, these are some talked about points at touch yesterday which we believe have been the reason as to why we are not playing to our full potential as a team. It is now the business end of the league, we HAVE to finish in the top 2 of this pool in order to stay in this competition. So we got 3 fuckin hard games ahead of us, and they are all must wins. Let's play every game from here on in as a knockout game.

COBRAS VS. SPANNERS

UCT RFC B-FIELD

KICK OFF: 18:30

MEET: No later than 17:45 below Cecil

Please would whole squad come down

"Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill

A reason to celebrate...

A big Happy 20th Birthday goes out to Cobras hooker John Hayden, this man is slowly becoming a veteran of the Cobras. Hope you have an awesome day, and we will definitely be celebrating your birthday in the changeroom come Wednesday night...even more of a reason to push it.

Also Happy Birthday to Dean Smorenberg aka The Snake aka Stefen Terblanche WOO! for yesterday. There some rather big celebrations that went down on Saturday night at WADDA to see him through to his 21st. Congratulations on finally getting there and lets hope we can see an awesome display from the back come Wednesday night...including the after match festivities.

Oh so brave!

English influence...

Two of the younger Cobras, Mike Cockburn and Moeg, aka Garth Adams seen above pictured just weeks before they embarked overseas for a year. You can clearly see the difference between the above picture and below. We are fortunate enough that these two made it back from their year abroad and are now firmly part of the Cobras family...

Here the two, or one, however you see it, are seen together, as usual, ripping it up in England as they do. It was definitely their year in England that has influenced them to be the ones who week in and week out are closing the changeroom, and more recently the bar. These two will often be seen, together, by themselves, in the Rugby Club making sure they take full advantage of their Wednesday night. It's these type of guys that are hugely influential in keeping the vibe going...things can only get more hectic.

Will these two be in contention for the Boozer of the Year award at this years much anticipated Cobras Formal? We will have to wait and see...but it also depends on whether or not Blake Gowar lives to make the formal, because if he does....he will be hard to beat. Keep the good times rolling...

It also seems that Graeme and Starvin now have some competition to see which pair could be seen together more often than not...

Oh so brave...

Bishops 80 - 5 Boland Landbou

There was a lot of talk around many different social circles yesterday afternoon at the one and only Forresters Arms, over a rumoured thrashing by Bishops of one of South Africa's more recognized rugby schools, no i'm not talking about Rondebosch, in fact im talking about Boland Agriculture. These guys have always been a huge fixture on the Bishops calendar, but yesterday was an absolute joke. Before I go on, I would just like to tell you the score...80-5....yes Bishops fucked Boland Landbou up 80-5, have you ever...

The question on everyones mind was, "Wasn't it wet and muddy?" Firstly, it didn't matter under what conditions the game was played yesterday, because it is hard to find running rugby like the calabre of Bishops anywhere else in the country. Every year we hear rumours about the Bishops team not being too strong this year, or that they going to struggle, but it seems as if every year we keep producing some fuckin awesome Rugby. These bunch of youngsters don't have any big names to speak of, but they play one helluva vibe out there, it will be hard to match the skills and pace of Bishops this year if they continue to play rugby that saw them put 60 points on St.Andrews and 80 points onto Boland, I would love to know when last or if ever Boland recieved a hiding like that. Keep your eyes on the Bishops flyhalf, son of Tim Laine, this boy looks set to go places and he is still in Grade 11...

Next fixture vs. SACS away (Sat 17 May)...get down, wear that OD tie, bring a couple of beers and watch running rugby at its best.

http://www.bishopsrugby.co.za/

Heartbreak

Last night at aproxx 19:57 GMT on the Green Mile the UCT Ikeys lost to Maties again in the final minute. However, this time it was Ikeys who scored in the dying minute, the score was 18-24 Maties, and Turner managed to sneak over in the corner, the score was now 23-24, and as Matt Roslee had left the field it was up to Turner to convert his superb try, however conditions on the mile as per usual were not ideal, and this was just not be.
Ikeys put up a valiant effort, but seemed to missing a certain something, prehaps a little touch of flare, and after letting through 2 soft, early tries it was always going to be difficult for the tigers to claw their way back into the game.
Devastating.

Let us try again...

After what could only be described as something pretty close to an absolute fucking nightmare in losing the Final of the Varsity Cup, UCT Ikeys have another opportunity, although this time not worth R250 000 or in front of 20 000 people, to beat Maties. Small comparison. Can you compare the two? Who knows...don't think so. However, there is still massive pride at stake, and obviously league points when these two powerhouse rugby sides take on each other once again. As we all know the UCT side is full of players who came up through the ranks, especially through the Cobras system which has got them to where they are today, you have learnt well men.

Now, we all originially thought the intervarsity, which has become an absolute shambles, was firstly going to be played at Newlands as a curtain raiser to the Stomers game, but this is not the case. We at Cobras headquaters recieved some inside information as to why the game has now been moved to Groot Schuur A, aka UCT A-Field, aka The Green Mile...call it what you want to call it, it has been dubbed by many, as a fortress. Now here is the catch as to why the change in venue could favour the hosts.

- Firstly, on arrival the Maties team will be pushed and squeezed into that tiny fuckin changeroom that we drank, sung and puked in last week. A slight contrast to the luxury and space of the Newlands home team changing room.

- Secondly, as the Maties run out of their changeroom to go and warm up, they will be hit by a wind blowing close to 100 Knots, with rain and whatever else comes with the Green Mile sweeping across, making it an absolute nightmare for any visiting rugby team, or just rugby in general, however, surely the Ikeys are used to these conditions as they do practice on the hallowed turf every evening, I think Sundays included, hectic...

- Finally, and this could be my only concern, is that a few Vodacom Cup players were released by Western Province because they got knocked out in the Semi's last week. So don't be suprised to see a few 'new' Maties players, as per usual they some how fuck with the system.

So there you have it, take it, leave it...but it looks set to be another awesome game or rugby, and hopefully this time in favour of the hosts, like it should have been last time. Get down, kick off at 6pm, bring some beers, Rich maybe a small tweak and let's enjoy some awesome rugby...afterparty at Wadda!

Prediction - UCT 22 - 16 Maties

a U a U a UCT!!!

#1 Lets Go Fucking Mental

Slap Slap Hisss... cute.

In show of their love and admiration for the mighty UCT Purple Cobras some cute little kids in England got together and made this video for us...its brings a tear to my eye to look at their little faces and see the joy that we have brought into their young lives.

This just in...

It is apparrent that the Cobras have become a GLOBAL phenomenom, when i keyed in 'cobras' on facebook to search for our group, i came a accross 'Globogym Purple Cobra's' a very shit group with only 11 members. However, instead of having the standard Purple Cobra logo, they had somehow managed to get hold of our UCT Purple Cobra emblem and used it as their page profile pic, what a lag... check it out
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4275998826

Paul Tito Comes Right

Paul Tito puts in another steller performance, off the field, and scores the equivalent of 3 converted tries.

All Skouranges are locks!?!

While recently completing my masters thesis for a doctorate in genelogy and the study of DNA and gentics, i stumbled upon a truly astounding, unbeleivable and dare i say fantastic discovery... all SKOURANGE individuals are LOCKS... yes it's true every strawberry-blonde lad ever in the history of the great game of rugby has played either in the number 4 or 5 postion... now take a second to think about this, think about every flaming haired person you know, and think about what their preffered position on the field was/is.... now take a moment to let all this digest, wow.

In the Cobras squad alone we have 2 ginger speelers, and both of them are locks!! Philip 'the red' Voget a veteran of the lineout and one of the fouding members of the mighty Cobras has orange hair. Craig 'the dark red' McKenzeeee a juniour but intergral pillar both in the scrum and the change room is sports and 'off red' doo. Interesting.


Phillip Alexander Rudolph Lyndsay Christopher Joy Voget


Craig 'Sexual' McKenzie

This icredible revelation spurred me on to dig a little deeper into this orange coloured conspiracy... so i got out my trusty shovel and dug, but SHOCKINGLY i didnt need to dig very deep at all, not very deep at all! in fact, i didnt even need to dig, i simply sat on my couch on friday morning and switch on the tv... the super 14 was on, the Highlanders were playing the Hurricanes. Good game.
On the Hurrincanes side, we have an absolute force of nature, this man looks like Hades himself, i mean fuck it really appears as if his pale sculp is permanetly on fire, its like a fucking bonfire, the man is Paul Tito, and YES he is a lock. On the Highlanders side i present to you yet another lock, James Ryan, and beleive it or not he is not only skourange but covered in freckles. amazing. Proof...

Paul Tito AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!!!!


James 'Red Rover' Ryan

In order to really put my hypothesis to the test i wen through my entire friends list on facebook (dedication because i have so many friends and the list is very long) and guess what i found... 2 ginger friends and 2 Lock. Graham Knoop, Jo Bailes. True story.


Graham Knoop


Jo Bailes


i know, this is too hectic...



Oh, so brave

Man of the Match...

After a very long drunken discussion over what the new Purple Croc would be awarded for it was finally concluded that the most obvious decision would be the Man of the Match.

So the first ever Cobragator award for generally being a fukin hectic oke, being man of the match, and then throwing a huge vibe in the changeroom after the game, went to new recruit and star flank Kyle Rennie. This man has adapted to the Cobras style of play like no other man has, he has slotted straight into the vibe and one can surely see this man going on to become one of the Cobra greats. Kyle Rennie, down a beer, pat yourself on the bag, take your hat off, and hold the Cobragator high, Cobras till you die...

Stef-an Ter-blanche WOO! Stef-an Ter-blanche WOO!

Due to the Sharks poor recent run of form, star fullback and Cobra Stefan Terblanche enjoyed a couple of beers in the Cobras changeroom last Wednesday night, he has stated that his recent poor run of form for the Sharks will come to an end soon when he pulls the Purple and White over his shoulders in a weeks time, he went on to say that he was extremely excited about getting another much sought after cap for the Cobras "My form of late has dipped slightly, so I will be looking forward to the next few fixtures against the Spanners and Ubumbo to try and get my confidence back, because after all, rugby is a confidence game." There it is, let's wait and see what this man can produced in Round 2 of the competition...

Oh so brave Stefan, Oh so brave...

A Bitter Sweet evening.

It is with a great sense of uncertainty that I write this post game report. I know it has taken a few days to process but this is because I take great pride in my work and not because I'm lazy. Wednesday saw the top of the table clash between Easterns and the mighty Cobras. While both teams were vying for the first place seed spot for the next round it is without doubt that most people, Cobra or not, believed it to be a rather trivial affair. It should have been. On a cold blustery eveing both teams took to the field, Cobras playing into the wind in the first half as we are inclined to do. Having camped in their half for a good ten minutes, an unnamed Easterns player broke the line and one too many tackles, to put his mate over in the corner. Cobras down by five. Then things took a turn for the better. Aggression levels rose, rucking improved and by half time it was Cobras up 12 to 5. Brendan Raubenheimer going over twice. Tactically positioned on the flank Raubi had a great performance.

In the second half, wind at our backs and a healthy lead the stage was set for a massacre. or so we thought. It was a dull affair. Easterns became more aggressive and it appeared that we just didn't really have our heads in the game. One try in the second half was all we could muster and that was down to an error on their behalf. No bonus point. From the sideline there were a few things I picked up. Firstly and for some bizarre reason, we are sucking at these new rules. Our breakdown play is horrendous. Teams, whether intentionally or not, are killing our ball far too easily and ensuring very slow ball out to our far superior backline. Perhaps we are just being too polite or have become a bit complacent. Complacency is worrying because truth be told we haven't achieved anything in this league. Just like Ricky Bobby said: If you ain't first you're last. True too Ricky, true too.
Secondly it seems that the arrogance of youth that was once abundant in this team seems to have faded. I'm not berating anyone here, as I respect all of you as human beings and rugby players. But right now there is only one man who I belive is playing to his highest potential and has been doing so for the last three games. G Van de Rede stand up, down a beer and take a bow. Confidence is probably the underlying reason for this slump. For heaven's sake, we showed more aggression gainst the Panthers in the change room than we did on the field. It's time for us to take a look at what we're doing and not just brush it under the carpet and put it down to a bad day. Honestly, our last three performances have been below par and if we even think that this is the season where we're going to lift that trophy then some drastic changes need to be made.

Sorry. Other than that we had an absolutely cracking fines session in the change room, which culminated in Raubs bottling a Panther and Kyle Renny taking home the Cobra- gator. Awesome. Also I was told by a friend that the Panthers were bleak with us because they were trying to have fines but couldn't because the noise from the neighbouring change room was just too much. Those that participated can give themselves a hearty pat on the back. Fuck I love the Cobras. See you at touch. Bye for neow...

Weatherman Bug

Every where you go...

Good day. Welcome to another instalment of Bug's weather report brought to you by FNB and st st st Steinhoff international. Weather that rocks is the way I like to look at it.
Today's forecast: Hectic.

My man on the ground informs me that as we speak the weather is cooking with clear skies and no wind to speak of on the Green Mile. Where dreams are shattered. My view is that later things are going to change quite dramatically. With the public hoilday looming tomorrow I reckon that we could be in for one helluva night. Beer raining down for the sky with a purple hue in the early hours. This is all due, my friends, to the Cobras hurricane that is coming to town... It is going to be a wet and wild affair. Bring your A game.

On a lighter note I have that interview with 'Dylan MceVoy Bitch' that I promised you a week or so ago. A caught up with the lad over a few beers and a quiet game of the gainers game. This is a brief snippet of the convo:

B: Hey Dil, with a Y, how you?

D: Bug, my man, I'm jolling like a treat. Life is good.

B: Good to hear, could this be due to the gypsy potion and spells that that girlfriend of yours is casting over you? Word is they've stunted your growth. Jokes, we all know you're not getting any taller.

D: ha, bug, you're a lag. But seriously bru I love her and we're going to San Diego together. Caravan and all.

B: That brings me to my next point. Dil, you scored an absolute peach of a try in the first week of the compo. Arguably the best try scored by the Cobras. How did you feel?

D: Bug it felt hectic. Orgasmic. A proud day.

B: Loving your vibe. Tell me something Dil, how do you feel about jazz, as in the movement that is jazz music?

D: Truth is Bug, I fear jazz. The lack of rules and boundaries confound me. I prefer to listen to house, bru, as it's mellow and unintrusive. Sitting with a peach rollie, some chilled house beats and naming stars is what I'm all about.

B: Hectic.

D: Very

B:Very hectic.

D: Indeed.

Well I hope you've all got to know Dill with a Y a bit better. Next week an in depth insight into the inner workings of our quasi treasure and quasi homosexual Graeme.

Until then, always take the weather with you...

This man is hungry...

"When building a team, I always search first for people who love to win. If I can't find any of those, I look for people who hate to lose." Ross Perot

Top of the table clash...

Well as we all should know by now is that this is in fact a top of the table clash. The side who wins this game goes through to Round 2 top of the log, meaning an easier pool for that team for round 2. One surely doesn't need to explain the importance of this game in terms of Round 2 and keeping a winning culture within the side. We'll leave it up to you to think about the importance of tomorrow nights game...

Cobras vs. Easterns

Wednesday 30th April

Kick off: 18:30

UCT RFC B-Field

Meet 17:30 below Cecil

If you haven't let Warren know that you can't play then we expect to see the whole squad there, as per usual we will try to give everyone a run.

So there you have it...it's going to be huge.

Big fines meeting after the game as Thursday is a public holiday...bargain. So bring your A-game and your vibe as it is bound to get hectic...please bring contributions, as there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Oh so brave...

Practice vandag

Practice today!!
5:OO CAT at at Diocesan College, Cemetry field, dont be late... and remember to have found people to sell wine to, so we can get names down and sort out the booze fund...
slap slap hissss

Supicious...

Whilst perusing the net for some light 'adult material', as one does when putting off grafting for economics and looking for some stress relief, I stumbled upon this treat...



Name: Cobra
Occupation: Male Stripper

wow, 'Cobra' is just too amazing...
- The slighty receding hairline
- The obvious use of self-tan
- The 'One Gun' Flex
- Aaaaaand.... the PLAYBOY boxers, this oke is a male stripper for heavensake!!

On closer inspection i noticed a striking resemblance to one of our very own purple cobras, Brendan 'Evan Stone' Raubenheimer... now given raubenheimers love of the adult industry in general and also of body enhancing supplements, it must be asked whetheror not raubs is in fact a male stripper performing under the stage name of 'Cobra' (obviously as show for his love of the cobras)... hmmm, the plot thickens, very suspicious... we want answers Brendan.

How much longer do we have to wait?

It was a windy evening just over a year ago when the Cobras side of 2007 took the field against Ikhaya. Pivotal and influential Cobras lock Dugald 'Weatherman' MacDonald ran out for the first game of the 2007 season as Vice Captain looking forward to the long, hard season which he had been training for over a year for. He had no idea that this game would put him out of rugby for over a year, but he is well and truly on the come back trail.

Proffesor Tim Nokes from the Sports Science Institute had this to say about Dugalds injury: 'Look, Bug has been out now for over a year, it's been 7 months since his op and things are looking good, he is not far away now from getting a few minutes off the bench to see how the knee is.' It is all sounding so promising for the young man, Nokes also went on to say "I have no doubt that he will be back to his fighting best and will be there for the second half of the season to help the Cobras to a League victory, good luck to you lads

So there you have it, breaking news on Dugalds injury which has seen him take over as manager of the Cobras side for the last year. We look forward to getting him back out on the battlefield.

Latest standings...

So after two games the Cobras are sitting at the top of group X table with two wins out of two, both with bonus points for 4 tries or more. The other team who is still unbeaten is the Easterns side, which we will be clashing with next week Wednesday as we have a bye this week. It is going to be a huge game, as it will be for top honours on the log, and a better pool for Round 2 of the competition, so it is a win at ALL costs game, it is going to be huge...

Here is the list of fixtures for the next two weeks, as you will see we have a bye tomorrow but that doesn't mean there won't be rugby worth watching. The Nadoes are taking on their rivals the Baa Baa's which is always a huge game, this is guaranteed to be the biggest game of this years competition thus far, so get down and have a watch at what sort of competition we will be facing in the later stages of the competition.

Philip Voget.

Warren's post regarding Phil Voget's birhtday during our first season of Purple Cobras reminded me that fortunetly we managed to get glorious moment on video... here is the clip that was posted after the night... for all you young cobras take note, this is the type of spirit and bravery we here at Cobras embrace and encourage... and i want each and everyone one of you, to take a good hard and long look at yourself in the mirror and ask if yourself if you have what it takes to top phil's performance next week wednesday...



please note the barman in the background at the end, "HEY, get that guy outa here!!"- congratulations phillip you are a true purple cobra and an inspiration to all. i dig your vibe.

It's heating up...

Here are a couple of examples as names of entered Bowls teams for Cobras Bowls Day 2008, this SUNDAY...

RollerBLAZORS – its just how we roll
The Illegal Immigrants – ‘don’t leave us alone with your kids’
Tripods – if you lose one, you fucked
Hands of glory – if you not first you last
Team Intensity – expect the unexpected
Nadoes – ‘since 1999’
Bowling Barbies - we hot, and we know it

It looks set to be a cracker of a day...lots of drinking, lots of swearing and lots of laughs...get down to WPCC this Sunday from 12 Noon.

Prizes
Live DJ
Boerie Rolls
Giveaways
Booze

Match report vs. Smuts

It was possibly the best conditions ever witnessed on the Green Mile last night, dry with no wind, one would have though condusive to running rugby, Cobras rugby. However, this was not the case. Not much can be said about the Cobras performance last night, although we scored 7 unanswered tries, there was not much to write home about. The crowd was silent and so were the players, there was no urgency or flair, it was flat out there. We knew it would be an easy game but that does not mean we shouldn't go out firing, playing aggressive hard rugby. We played with them as if they were school kids, with there not even being one noticeable big tackle going in, to be honest it was boring stuff with a very stop start game.

The Cobras, and forwards especially, have not been playing the new laws right, these are the types of things we going to have to get waxed if we even want to think about getting close to a semi-final spot. There was no urgency or aggression. Apart from flying winger Warren Kelly, there was nothing special about the Cobras performance last night. However, it is a good thing that we can play below average rugby but still score 7 tries, our defence was the only positive that came out of the game. If we had come out firing from the kick off we could easily have put 70 points on a very average Smuts side. Let's put this performance behind us and look to our next fixture in 2 weeks time, which will be the biggest game in our pool. So think about, shake it off and start gettin amped for our next game. Final score...Cobras 43 Smuts 0

Oh so brave...

Cobras Bowls Day this Sunday 12pm @ WPCC
If you haven't entered a side yet and would still like to do so, please contact Warren on 0839502053 for further details, it is going to be great fun with an awesome vibe.
NO TOUCH THIS SUNDAY DUE TO BOWLS...BYE NEXT WEEK.

Bug's Weather Watch 2...

Every where you go…

It’s that time of the week again gentlemen. Time for the second installment of Bug’s weather report brought to you by FNB and st st Steinhoff International. It’s been a while since we last chatted so there’s a boat load of stuff for me to fill you in on.

First let’s get down to the real weather forecast for tomorrow. Basically according to a certain website we have a min of 15 degree Celsius and a max of 22. Intriguing. Weather forecast is ‘fine’ with a moderate south east. That basically means that come kick off at 7:30 there’s going to be a pumping SE on the green mile and that temperatures will plummet. So please guys bring warm stuff for the side lines, don’t want okes pulling hammies etc. this does not apply if you’re Graeme steen as he is fucking steamy.

Now for a little friendly banter. We have a new man on the weather team with us today, Dean Smorenburg aka the fog maker. In a nutshell when things are going well at a party for instance Dean has been known to create a dense, throat choking mist. The following interview with the snake is an attempt to reveal the secret of his north American weather influencing abilities.

DM: Dean, welcome to the show. How is everything?

DS: Thanks bud, everything is cool just keeping it chilled. You know how I am just pretty chilled.

DM: Sure do Dean. Listen bud I was just phoning to ask a few questions regarding your fog machine- like behaviour on Friday night. Care to comment?

DS: Bug, it’s a recent discovery of mine and it basically goes back to my North American heritage. You know, like red Indians and shit.

DM: I’ve heard of them. Dig their curries hey?

DS: Not quite. I come from a long line of Indians who have been blessed by the gods in many ways. I come from the clan of Tahoma Arial Courier Sans, of the South of course. My family each possess special traits and mine was passed down from my ancestors. Basically I can create fog, it’s cool but not as cool as your ability to make it rain Bug.

DM: How interesting. Not many people have such gifts my boy. All I can tell you is that you have been given a gift so use it responsibly. Cheers.

Great guy. Great interview.

A bit more on the weather from Friday night. Anton Taylor was seen in a scuffle round 2 o’clock on Friday. He did get the better of the opponent but soon his emotions got in the way. In what can only be described as a torrential down pour Anton managed to soak himself and those around them. Needless to say he left the party rather early.

It continues to pour with purple rain drops in the world of Warren Butler who assures me that shit is going rather well on his front. Dil McEvoy has been making waves and water works of his own of late. It seems that whenever young Dil is out in public with his beau, Simone X, she always tends to cry. Witnesses assure me that on the night of Friday 11th of April our year of the Lord poor Sim was seen sitting in Dil’s car. Alone. Balling her eyes out. Not ideal. Dil assures me that he digs her and that yes he will be going with her to San Diego in June. How convenient. When asked whether he would be paying his way, Dil simply replied:
‘She’s lank loaded bru.’

Well aren’t all gypsies?

Another argument for another time. Stay tuned for next week’s interview with Dil himself and his thoughts on the weather, cobras and gypsy magic.

Until then…

Always take the weather with you.

Squad vs. Smuts

Starting line up for the all important clash against Smuts:

1. B. Le Roux 2. J. Hayden 3. Sheldon Laing

4. M. Milne 5. G. Vd Rede

6. G. Adams (moeg) 7. A. Taylor

8. A. Flanagan
9. G. Steen
10. W. Butler 12. O. Braithwaite 13. D.Bonellie

11. W. Kelly 14. B. Milne

15. S. Terblanche

Purple Cobras vs. Smuts

Kick Off: 19:30

UCT B-Field

Meet 18:30 below Cecil

All reserves to please come down too, as we said we are giving everyone a run.

The current state of the Cobras battle kit ahead of tomorrow nights all important clash against Smuts...I can already smell the beer drenched in the Cobras jerseys...I wanna go hooooooome!

Oh so brave...

Hectic...

It seems as if Cobras lock Matt Milne is not only saving the Cobras from line out problems this season, but also many a life on Clifton 4th and will probably end up arresting one of his team mates in the very near future...this was his final shot of the season as Weatherman Bug has predicted that summer if officially over, and he also predicts a very wet and long winter...more on weather predictions tomorrow but just enjoy this eye candy for now...before he hits the hard streets and dark nights under the SAPS.

I think a song for the man is in order:

Some people stand in the darkness

Afraid to step into the light

Some people need to help somebody

When the edge of surrender’s in sight..

Don’t you worry!

Its gonna be alright‘cause I’m always ready,I won’t let you out of my sight.

I’ll be ready (I’ll be ready)Never you fear (no don’t you fear)

I’ll be ready Forever and always

I’m always here.

Who is this man? No one will ever know...welcome to the family!

Walking down memory lane...

Who could ever forget this night, a big victory over Marquard and Phil Vogets birthday. It was back in '06, the Cobras first year when we were still coming to grips with UCT Internal League Rugby, if we think back to then, it makes us respect how far we have come. Let's keep the ball rolling, and we HAVE to find out when it is Phil Voget's birthday again....

The Act of Giving

Dean Smorrenburg needs YOU


Now most of us look up to the kind and selfless acts of celebrities like Brad and Angelina and Maddonna, and all the good work they do for the world by adopting babies of different colours... however alot t of us arent allowed to adopt babies as the law prohibits purple cobras from the adoption process, as apparently we're irresopnsible parents... very unfair. Anyways we try and do the next best thing... which is to donate to charities of course!! But the problem with charities is that there is no point... i mean you donate your money, and then *poof* its gone, and you have no idea where it gone and what its up too... now that R5 you just donated could very well could be used to feed 784563 starving ehtiopians, or it could just as easily be used as a contribution to father Coomers Big Mac fund.... the problem is that you just dont know!!??



We here at the the Purple Cobras Think Tank have developed a new and ingenious solution... this is how it works: basically you give your (as much as possible) money to Warren (Butler) or Graeme (Gimlee).... thats it! simple as that... this money will then be used in conjunction with other donations to purchase as much ice cold beer as possible... and then when wednesday eve comes along and we're all gathered in the changeroom, and suddenly you look over to your friend as he takes a delicious gulp of his cold golden brewski, and you see that glorious glaze of pure happiness in his eyes... you will know that you are the one that gave him that happiness. you were the one who gave him the beer... finnaly a charity that works.

so do your bit to make the world a better place, and wednesday nights a happier night for all





oh and remember to sort out you bowls teams... this will also help to bring happiness to all...

Happy Belated Bugger Bug

From all the Cobras a very very Happy 21st Birthday to our main man and manager, dugald 'bug' macdonald!! yay!! and thanks for the outstanding skop on friday eve! enjoyable.


Dugald getting "Real" with his homey

to comemorate and celebrate our dear curly friend i have uploaded Poodles favourite video of all time, ever, ever, forever. he loves it. This is the best and most amazing thing he has ever laid his eyes on. He cant get enough of it. he is obssessed with it. After the last few days i have recieved numerous sms's at all hours of the day from him simply quoting this video. wow, he really does love it. To illustrate how much dugald loves this video, his 21st party night ended with him and myself huddled over a computer screen at about 6am in the morning watching this video...

i think dugald enjoys this clip so much, because he sees himself in the main character, he really can relate to the ordeals the character endures and the person he transforms to... Dugald you are the Crack Fox!!



"It bloods.. from a cats face!!" - classic

Winning is a habit...

Last night saw the mighty Cobras side of 2008 start their season with a great win against a perky and physical Clarendon side, who came out firing.

The Cobras won the toss and elected to run against a stiff south easter, which by this stage we are so used to when playing rugby on the Green Mile. The talk before the game was that they were going to come out firing, and we just needed to suck in the pressure and remain calm under the early pressure, something that we have learnt from experience of last years final. Clarendon scored first after attacking the Cobras line for a good 10 minutes, the defence was solid all night but a lack in communication let them go over. We knew this could very well happen and were well prepared for being down in the first ten minutes. The Cobras then started to build confidence and structure, after the rust had finally dissapeared. Cobras struck back with a well worked forward try, they really showed their dominance over a much bigger pack with true heart and courage, was a magnificent display by the young Cobras forwards.

Straight after the re-start the Cobras collected the ball deep in their own 22 only to pass it through 7 or 8 hands from side to side to put flying winger Dillon X over in the corner, it was one of the greatest tries ever by the Cobras, and possibly one of the greatest tries ever witnessed on the Green Mile, it was true class and its ability like this where the Cobras are going to be so dangerous. This made the Cobras click and the second half was a one way game with the Cobras dominating the pikey Clarendon side with the most disgusting supporters ever seen on the Green Mile, that guy in the black top, please stand up, Cunt. We let the ball do the talking while Clarendon let the yobs on the side do their talkin, only to piss the ref and pretty much everyone on the Green Mile off, is this the type of support we going to get this year?

With a final score of 38-5 the Cobras showed their true determination, commitment, calmness and experience in games like these. If we see more rugby like this from the young side, we are destined to top our group table.

Cheeky fines meeting was enjoyed by all, and now the tone is set for the rest of the season, bigger and greater things to come, game against Smuts next week, another res side, let's hope they are not supported by Pikeys either, as after all they are seen as an academic res, so let's hope for the best. The oke in the black shirt, you're a wanker.

Hoist up the Cobras sail!

The Starting Line Up

Tiger Tears

SHEESH..... last night was absolute heartbreak, for those of you who are reading this from an underground cave in afghanistan, last night was the final of the first inaugaral Steinhoff FNB Varsity Cup between UCT and Ikeys, both teams had serious nailbiters in their respective semifinals and last night was no exception...

The night got off to great start with the UCT colts dominating the Maties dagbreek team, with classy performances from the Cobras captain Warren 'el Capitano' Butler, the actual captain of the Colts Nic 'Rozilz' Roslee, Oliver 'Bantu bum' Braithwaite, Brendan 'Jay Cutler, Evan Stone' Raubenstone, and Ross 'Rozilz' Sheldon.... well done boys...

The UCT 1st team on the other hand was a very tense, exciting but tearful game... with the Maties bastards clincing a very hard fought game in the dying minute, literally... it must be noted that in true Bishops/ Cobras style rugby Ikeys scored 2 tries in comparison to maties 1.

I would like to bitch and whine like a true sore loser about several things that really pissed me off about the game.... first and foremostly the fact that UCT topped the Varsity Cup log and therefore were meant to awarded a home final, however owing to UCTs under par lighting we were forced to play Maties in their Dutch stronghold: "The Danie Craven" stadium. Anyone who was there will testify to the overwhelming Maties support. This is fucking bullshit. They better sort out a proper stadium for next year when we top the log.
Secondly, the lack of booze available at the stadium.
Thirdly, the fact that some fat traitorous Ikeys sluts bad mouthed UCT guys in the paper.
Fourthly, the fact that ref decided to play an extra 10 minutes, or until Maties scored, which as was said earlier they did, in the last minute!
And lastly, but most significcantly the fact that some scum dutch gam security assaulted a fellow cobra in full view of the stadium. Anton Taylor was jovially encouraging the Ikeys crowd to chant some tame songs of encouragement to the boys in blue, when a a gang of rommel security gaurds came out of nowhere and tackled the unsuspecting Taylor to the ground, and then to his cries of "im sorry, im sorry, what are you doing?", they proceded to repeatedly smash his fragile head in with their bare fists, until the defencless Anton's temple and scull cracked open into a MASSIVE wound with fountains of blood gushing all over the field... Taylor was forced to spend the night in hospital being attended to by medical experts. And as the Van Wilder of UCT himslef will attest to, this was not ideal. And today he had to have a cosultaion with Troy and Macnamara to determine whether they could ever repair severe damage done to his features. To top things off this security gaurd then proceded to pull pg 18 signs at the Ikeys crowd. Only in Stellenbosch... fuck. fuck.


Anton "The bearded beast" Taylor

Anyways now that ive dealt with that little rant, lets look forward to the future, to better things to come... to great things to come... as you all are definitely aware tomorrow night is our first cobras game of the season, and i dont know about you, but im giddy... giddy as hell... i hope your are prepare; mentally, physically and spiritually... the opener is going to be huge. Please bring along all the support possible, tell all the sluts you know, they love this kind of thing... and bring some gees.

Speaking of gees and things sluts enjoy; the Purple cobras bowls day. As a two year veteran of the game, i can garauntee you that it is an awesome load of fun... there is nothing better than getting out on the green with a cold one in one hand and a bowl in the other while displaying some true Cobras magic. Bowls is also highly conducive to pulling chicks, as Dugald will definitely not be shy to tell you (he DIGS tellign okes about pulling chicks), it is alleged that the Newlands Cricket Club bowling green is where his reign of Purple Rain all began... oh yes... you to could follow in his footsteps... this is definitely not one to be missed and is fun for the whole family, so tell everyone you know: get a team, get some sort of awesome kit/outfit/costume vibe worked out, and lets get the ball rolling so too speak...

welll i ahve about 7 tuts for early tomorrow so i must leave you beautiful ppl now, so until tomorrow night....


Slap slap HISSSSS



a cobra about to step a claredon knight... electric


(graeme i was too lazy to speel check and edit this, so please deal with it for me. i love you)

The long wait is just about over...

The time has come that the Purple Cobras start their long, hard season, and their fight for the UCT Internal League Cup. As it is our 3rd season in the league, one might feel third time lucky. Cobras will open their assault against res side Clarendon tomorrow night. It looks to be a magnificant display of hard, running rugby...as the Cobras are well known for, always easy on the spectators eyes.

Purple Cobras vs. Clarendon Knights

Kick Off: 18:30

UCT C-FIELD

Meet: 17:30 below Cecil

Bring last seasons hooped socks

Let's do it.

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking - William B. Sprague

Oh so brave Cobras....

Purple Cobra GI Joe

This guy is fighting the good fight... and is rumoured to be making an appearance on the sidlelines on wednesday to cheer on the purple lads!!

Mighty Boosh

Sorry forgot to add pictures to make it look cool.... its my first post...